Frolykz!

I was going to start today’s Frolykz post with the question “Are young people today just as thick as shit or what?” And then launch into this spiel about a simple task I have given to two (count them two) office juniors which basically involved assembling a kit of information and sending a copy of the kit to 25 managers in other States.

Ordinarily one might think that this would be a relatively straightforward task, but realising that the junior that had been allocated to me to assist with the task looked a bit “challenged” on the common sense front, I enlisted someone else to help.

That was at about 11.00am this morning. I mentioned that each pack would need to go out in today’s Express post and that it was very important and urgent.

Well bugger me, here we are at 3.00pm and the office juniors are squabbling amongst themselves and complaining that they don’t have enough time to do it!! Of course they had to take their obligatory one hour lunch break rather than focus on completing the task at hand.

What part of very important and urgent don’t people understand???!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Friday Footy with Tom!

What a week!

Incredibly we’ve had both Julia Gillard and Malcolm Turnbull in Iraq ! That should be evidence enough to the Iraqi people that democracy is hardly worth all the effort.

Locals were heard go comment – “Apparently Australians allow these people to run their country, perhaps the handing control over the mullahs isn’t such a bad idea.”

Did everyone see Julia in her bivouac gear? I think a burqua may have been more fetching.

There are some footy games…

Collingwood v Essendon

How on earth can Essendon consider themselves to be one of the major clubs, when they don’t even have a celebrity president? Essendon deserve more than some unknown non entity. Take the example of Collingwood, their president is a fully known, celebrity, non entity.

Essendon should be up there with Hawthorn with a prominent president. A former politician! And who is a most prominent Essendon supporter?

Finally, here at Blogocrats Footy Preview, we have come up with the ideal job for our illustrious former Treasurer – Peter “I cooda been the champ!” Costello. Finally he can take on a position that will allow him to make a great contribution to our civilised society.

He can become the president of Essendon, and then he could put them out of business.

Collingwood to win.

Melbourne v Eagles

Name 3 Melbourne players. I can’t either.

At least we remember the Eagles players, they’re always fighting and getting arrested, they make the news, just as footy players should in the most isolated city in the world.

Here in Melbourne we have nightclubs, as distinct from bikie hangouts, the Eagles players are likely to be well primed (but complacent) for a game against the pathetic Demons. It won’t matter. Eagles by about 15 goals.

(Even I’m not tasteless enough to make a comment about the Melbourne president.)

Port v Brisbane

Port has reappointed Williams as coach. This is enough to guarantee their defeat, and confirm their enduring commitment to on and off field failure. Brisbane to confirm Port’s stupid, dim witted mistake by thrashing them.

For more gratuitous insulting of Port, please refer to commentary in the Sydney v North review.

Richmond v Adelaide

The new coach at Richmond is certainly putting some discipline into the club! He’s not yet been spat at by the supporters. How’s that for a new club culture at Tigerland? It needs to be acknowledged though, that this situation is likely to change this week.

Benny Cousins is in great form. His addiction problem was all in his mind! How odd. The Tigers club doctors have given him a type of placebo – washing powder. The foaming nostrils are an indication that he’s committed to his program.

Tigers have to loose because “Jade” is a name suitable only for the full forward at Nimbin or Byron Bay , it just doesn’t cut it for an AFL coach.

Unfortunately Adelaide seems destined to win.

Western Bulldogs v Hawthorn

At the pregame lunch, Bulldog president, David Smorgon should spit in the soup of his Hawthorn counterpart –President Kennett, though dogs fans will agree that this is a waste of good spit.

This game is the clash of cultures. Footscray people are welfare cheats and dole bludgers, Hawthorn supporters are tax cheats. Hawthorn people get pissed on chardonnay. The dogs are just always pissed, or about to become so. Hawthorn people drive leased Audis and BMWs that they can’t afford and are about to be repossessed. Dogs supporters are more likely to do the panel beating on them.

Hawthorn people have a very high rate of debt default, Bulldogs supporters don’t even have enough to qualify for debt in the first place. It all goes into poker machines.

Dogs by a few goals.

Sydney v North

Barry Hall is good for football; people don’t want to watch skill and spectacular marking. We want random acts of violence, and this is what Hall does best.

Barry is likely to play for Port next year; he belongs in a town where raw physical brutality is appreciated, some say compulsory. He would though need some additional tattoos and grow a bit of a mullet – bald with a tuft of hair at the collar. He’ll be appointed captain of Port if he gets the hair style right.

Sydney to win.

Fremantle v Carlton

So Carlton has finally decided to shun John Elliott!

This should’ve happened years ago, though if the standard for Carlton membership becomes something like – “no concealing of criminal activity is allowed” – we can expect that the only people that will be entitled to Carlton membership in future will also be eligible to play in their little league team.

Carlton are going downhill fast, so Freo to win.

St Kilda v Geelong

The clash of the year! Hardly. This game is overrated, because St Kilda isn’t really very good. They’re posers and front runners.

In the context of Carlton shunning Elliott we should remind everyone of the behaviour of St Kilda’s Milne and Montagna a few years ago. The recent history of St Kilda appears to have close parallels with that concealed by Carlton a decade or 2 ago.

St Kilda may have won 13 in a row, but Geelong will thrash them.

My tip is that the saints will loose about half their games from here on, and go out of the finals in straight sets. That will be good for football.