Hello !!

Good afternoon and welcome to Friday Frolykz – our end of the working week – beginning of the weekend thread.

Well the big news of the week, of course, is that Farrah Fawcett has snuffed it. Coincidentally at about the same time as that lesser known celebrity Michael Jackson. Which once again, and quite rightly, raises the question “Is this a government cover up?”

Frankly, I think not, but there are remarkable similarities which could indicate otherwise. For one thing they both looked old and scraggy and enjoyed quaffing back ketamine with Michael’s favourite party tipple “Jesus Juice.”
Therefore, it would be quite logical and perfectly reasonable to reach the conclusion that Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett were indeed one and the same person. For one thing, they were never seen on stage together and they both had interchangeable wigs.

But of course this is a preposterous idea, as we all know that Michael Jackson was also in fact Elizabeth Taylor and Bette Davis at the same time. Which is quite an accomplishment in itself when you think about the logistics involved.

A number of bloggers have remarked that Michael’s departure was rather pedestrian and not really suitably sensational enough for an international pop star.

For sure, who wouldn’t want to die in a plane crash, or perish in a burst of flames as your red mustang fails to negotiate a winding road and careers over a hundred foot cliff at two hundred miles an hour.

But sadly, some people are born to simply, collapse dead on the couch, with the remote control casually slipping from their grasp, as they murmur something about “ffuurth fuckkerth” with saliva drooling down their shirt, all the while slowly disintegrating to the closing credits of Home and Away.

And then there’s drowning in a pool of your own vomit. A style of demise that happened to a friend of mine after skulling a bottle Captain Morgan rum. What a gracious way to go, I thought. At least he had the foresight to put himself in the “recovery position” before slipping into unconsciousness, however unfortunately, this wasn’t sufficient to save him. So much for that first aid course they taught us at school, which by the way, I managed to fail.

Another favourite is to die while “on the job” which isn’t, as the name may suggest, dying at your place of employment, but rather dying with your face slumped somewhere on the keyboard between “F” and “C” . Personally I don’t favour this approach, and rather like the idea of being the admiral on a sinking ship shouting to the passengers and crew “Don’t worry about me! Save yourselves! Save yourselves!”

Of course this is a highly unlikely scenario, given that I’m not an admiral, and I don’t own a ship.

So it’s more likely that I’ll simply step of the curb in front of bus while trying to cross the road at half four in the morning, pissed, while looking for a kebab.

Anyway, on that note happy weekend…

UPDATE: Thanks to James of North Melbourne for sending in this pic of him in the bathtub (but it wasn’t really necessary)…


59 Responses

  1. I didn’t get the memo on this. Checking for e-mails.

  2. It’s a bit ironic that a B Grade Actress dies and gets relegated to B Grade Headlines just because an A Grade pedophile is getting all the A Grade Headlines.

  3. I understand that Micheal Jackson’s death is being investigated as a fake and that Malcolm Turnbull has been engaged to prove that he is actually dead … Tony Abbott will administer the last rites and Phillip Ruddock will be funeral director …

  4. TB : Who are the pallbearers? Elton for one.

  5. Can someone explain to me where all the millions of dollars go to set up and maintain a simple information website for the government when small businesses can do it themselves (mine used to cost in time and money less than a couple of thousand a year)…

    … big business wouldn’t pay $13 million for a relatively simple website like GroceryWatch (thank Gawd, its gone!) and certainly with no “viable” return …

    … even allowing for an army of collectors the millions spent aren’t reflected in the final products …

    … I wonder if there is a John Grant Web Master’s Service? Just askin’ (as a fellow poster would say)

  6. brian, he’s got four brothers, hasn’t he? That’s five – one to go …

  7. Agreed TB Grocery Watch was the biggest waste of time!! Most people have a choice between Woolies, Coles, Bi Lo or if Aldi. Imagine..let’s run to Woolies because the loo paper is cheaper there then jump into the car, drive 5kms to Coles because the onions are 20cents cheaper.

  8. Min, its the cost of the web sites that astound me (I know the concept is silly) … millions where it should be thousands …

    … if you want to check your local fuel prices, BTW, just use been around fer years for free!

  9. Grocery Watch will return via Australian Consumers Association publishers of Choice.

  10. TB..I have a choice of 1 servo..that is unless I want to do a right hand turn onto Minjungbal Drive, run the gauntlet of the traffic and then come around the back way into Banora Point. I suppose that these were election promises re being aware of the needs of ordinary people (compared with Howard’s you’ve never had it so good)..but agreed..both a waste of money.

  11. N5, but with a grant from the government of millions?

  12. Just more waste by this government just like the last lot!

    I bet if it was their money they would be more careful in dolling it out.

  13. For the record, may be free for us plebs to check out online, but the job it does is paid for by corporations and government wishing to use the data for things ranging from adding it to their mobile navigation software (as I assisted in putting together for a previous employer) through to statistics of petrol prices across major metropolitan areas.

    Someone has to pay for it in the end and the Grocery Watch site was meant to be advantageous to the consumer in allowing them to know when they could/should get something somewhere else cheaper. Not something I can see Woolies & Coles wanting to do.

    That said, it was a major waste of taxpayers money. It was obviously an election stunt without much through put into it. If they were serious, they could have legislated that Coles & Woolies give them their price lists. It is, after all, stored in their computer system and is just a few keystrokes away from a printout.

  14. Ben, hence my question … who’s getting all the money to set up this crap!

  15. The robber barons of course…they are everywhere!!!

  16. Sorry TB, my understanding was completely dated. Tis dead in the water.

    As for

    It is, after all, stored in their computer system and is just a few keystrokes away from a printout

    Certainly that seems true for Aldi which gaurantees the same price across Australia but in my experience that’s not true for Woolworths or Coles where prices vary from store to store.

    Nevertheless, the idea that people should and can (technologically speaking) have access to accurate info on which to make decisions remains sound.

  17. I bet if it was their money they would be more careful in dolling it out.

    You got that right, Scaper:

    There are four ways in which you can spend money.

    You can spend your own money on yourself. When you do that, why then you really watch out what you’re doing, and you try to get the most for your money.

    Then you can spend your own money on somebody else. For example, I buy a birthday present for someone. Well, then I’m not so careful about the content of the present, but I’m very careful about the cost.

    Then, I can spend somebody else’s money on myself. And if I spend somebody else’s money on myself, then I’m sure going to have a good lunch!

    Finally, I can spend somebody else’s money on somebody else. And if I spend somebody else’s money on somebody else, I’m not concerned about how much it is, and I’m not concerned about what I get.

    And that’s government.

  18. ToSY – that is a great post!

    Not so sure (personally) about number two – The Minister and I have a “budget” for pressies but we take a long time “seeking” suitable presents …

    However, The Minister and I (her sister) still discuss my sister in law (now dead, poor thing, at 59, too!) who used to give me jars of marmalade and jam for Christmas and b/days (did I mention its my birthday in three days?) the “killer” is that she was a millionaire – (I’m giggling now – but I did love her – she was a wonderful human being) – and on top of that – very creative (fabulous artist, crafts etc) – just me wot bombed out on pressies – I reckon I must have said something, sometime … 😆

  19. I’ve heard about snouts in the trough but these guys have got their whole heads in to extract as much as possible!,23739,25695368-952,00.html

    They have no shame!

  20. Geez, Scaper, you’d think Bernie Ripoll might have been better to go to a local car dealer and seeing if they have any used cars for loan!!!

  21. Surely John Grant could gift(?) the PM a newer model to save the taxpayers some money.

  22. Is someone keeping quiet about there upcoming birthday?

  23. And also joni, was there a less than subtle hint there about people who give lousy presents?

  24. If there was – I failed to notice due to the subtle subtlety. 😉

  25. I was going to send TB a bottle of top shelf French champagne but he said he didn’t want alcohol and Lowes don’t sell gift vouchers so he gets FA!

  26. Ok, gotta go. Plane to catch to Barcelona. Honeymoon finally!!!

    Back in 5 weeks!! Cheers all.

  27. Have a wonderful time James..I am certain that you will!

  28. James

    Have a great time. Do yourself a favour, go to the Picasso museum, just off La Rambla. Just great.

    Enjoy the food, the wine and the atmosphere. I love Barcelona.

  29. Have fun, James.

  30. Gee, you kept that quiet James. Have a great honeymoon and try and send us some pictures if you can.

  31. Not really that helpful but interesting nonetheless. When Mal Brough’s seat was mentioned and how he lost it in a surprise, I went looking for the demographics.

    The closest thing I could find was this brilliant little app from Possum:

    Electoral Demography

    Select QLD and Longman then go through the tabs. There is no male/female breakdown but there are single households, higher than the Australian average and No Children households also higher than the Australian average.

    Also his seat skews heavy in the service industries and they were the most adversely effected by WorkChoices, and Mal Brough as secretary to the Workplace Relations minister for a time.

  32. We’ve lost 36% of wealth

    And I don’t think we’ve seen the bottom quite yet. My prediction from 2008
    John McPhilbin
    Fri 25 Jul 08 (08:49am)

    My sanity saving approach has led me to look at the whole problem in more general terms, simply because there is no avoiding the pain brought about by our addiction to debt:

    We will, in my opinion, continue getting a snapshots that are aimed at providing greater hope and optimism about the economy and our wealth status. I’m just hoping people take a more realistic view of what is really happening. Nobody wants to see a major panic or excessive pessimism, however, we have had well over a decade where it seems nothing could stand in our way.I personally think that our average wealth will decrease (taking away previous gains through heated housing and stock markets), credit card spending will have to slow significantly and therefore consumer spending will decline, and housing prices will continue to fall. For how long? anywhere from between 18 months to 5 years – seriously (and the 5 years is a conservative guess). The problem that some people are not seeing clearly is that many of us are leveraged to the hilt with debt and we now need to start shedding much of the excess debt we have been carrying – this could be a lengthy process.

  33. I just created a group on facebook for the blogocrats.

  34. I just poked Mr Blogo Crats. (He’s a 43yo male, apparently.) 😉

  35. Recommendations for Top Five:

    + Top 5 Legends
    + Top 5 Sports Commentators *
    + Top 5 Top Fives

    * Inspired by channel 10s Hudo… /sarc

  36. Thanks kyxzil – been looking for ideas for Top Fives.

  37. kyxzil,

    * Inspired by channel 10s Hudo… /sarc

    Throw in ‘Chriso’ and ‘Quarters’ and that’d probably be my bottom three.

  38. We’ve lost 36% of wealth

    Not this little black duck.

  39. How about a confessions thread?

  40. Betcha looking forward to the 2007 Grand Final rematch tomorrow miglo?

  41. Toiletbeauty, Jedda and I concur that this game should be ignored. We’ve decided that it would be a good time to head off to the hardware store.

    I’ve predicted a 95 point win to the cry-babies.

  42. Malcolm Turnbull must be thanking the gods that Whacko died. Nobody’s interested in Malcolm anymore. He’s no longer news.

  43. You are nothing if not a stolid realist miglo. A commendable quality. Good for you.

    I agree that it probably is best avoided.

    Any predictions on the saga of Choco? To be fair, they couldn’t be facing Geelong at a worse time; hardly Choco’s fault.

  44. Yes, the mutant’s demise has taken the sting out of just about every other credible item in the news cycle.

    I still loathe Lady Di for the very same reason.

    Fkn “celebrities”.

  45. Toilethound,

    A Jacko obit you may like, regardless of its author’s political views. A snippet:

    He spent his childhood singing adult love songs with the Jackson Five. He spent his adulthood pretending to be a child. For a while, he liked to hang out at Disneyland with Mickey Mouse, one of the few A-list celebrities with whom he had anything in common – not least the white gloves, squeaky voice, snub nose, bizarre albino face bearing no relation to the jet black surround, and a penchant for hanging out with kids even though you’re well into middle age. Later, he was friends with Home Alone cutie Macaulay Culkin: they liked to go shopping together wearing buck teeth and false noses. But Macko outgrew Jacko and moved on to broads and booze, and Jacko turned to less worldly companions. A couple of years back, he visited London accompanied by Omar Bhatis, a 12-year-old boy who came first in a Michael Jackson look-alike contest in Norway. If you check into the EconoLodge with a prepubescent lookalike wearing matching white gloves and surgical masks, the gal at the front desk will give you the fish eye and buzz the house detective. But at the Dorchester Hotel it’s not a problem, at least for pop stars.

  46. Choco must also be praising the gods for the gloved one’s passing.

    Maybe he can sneak in a loss tomorrow and no-one will notice.

  47. Tony,

    throw in ‘Chriso’ and ‘Quarters’ and that’d probably be my bottom three

    Agree 100%. Quarters in particular gives me the royal sh&ts. I don’t mind Christo.. I honestly think he’s a better commentator than footballer (and I’m a Pies fan).

  48. kyxzil,

    Those guys could learn a lot from commentators from other codes, who waste little time discussing the merits of umpiring decisions. The amount of time they spend opinionating about decisions really gets on my nerves, to the point where I often watch games with the sound turned down. Right or wrong, a decision has been made – deal with the consequences of it, not its correctness.

  49. Tony, the issue I have with AFL commentators (Quarters et al in particular) is that the line between commentator and special comments is totaly blurred. I appreciate special comments but nowadays it seems that everyone is teh super coach. I would prefer that commentators pretend that their audience was not in front of a TV.

  50. P.S. I’m a “tear tall poppies down” type of guy. Please consider this in my previous anti-sports-commentry posts. Thank you :).

  51. *laugh*
    Looks like Turnbull only had a one day reprieve from the headlines… AFP, Turnbull meet over OzCar email.

  52. It doesn’t make sense does it Ben. From your link:

    But Mr Turnbull has told Channel Ten his allegations against the Prime Minister were based on the testimony of Treasury official Godwin Grech and not the email.

    But Mr Grech said that he wasn’t sure, that his memory could be faulty, therefore the conclusion is that T’bull made an accusation against Australia’s PM based on what could be ‘faulty’, that is Mr Grech’s memory. Not nearly good enough.

  53. Anyone putting in a moment’s thought knows that claim by Turnbull is a pile of horse-puckey. He’s only throwing it out there as a sound-bite for those that haven’t followed the story at all during the week.

    Though, from a look at the editorials, it’s only Piers Ackerman and Glenn Milne standing up for the Opposition. Piers claiming that this has been a good week for Turnbull (*laugh*) and Glenn trying to dig up something on Rudd via the Club 51 angle. At best, the rest are talking about Turnbull’s lack of political finesse and at worst calling him an idiot (in as many words).

  54. Ben..I should have put an ironic smile after my post. manure from T’bull.

    And at:

    The fairytale for this evening kiddies is How Little Mal Learnt Humility..

    He vowed his team would be more careful in the future after the email affair, appearing to broaden responsibility by using “us” and not “me”.

    “I think everyone will be more cautious, all of us will be cautious.

    “You’ve got to learn from episodes like this.”

  55. Forced myself to have a read of Ackerman over lunch. He claimed that the opposition never get a good run due to the left leaning bias of the ABC and the Fairfax media.


  56. Another load of boat people intercepted…almost two hundred on one boat!

    Winter is the best time to do the trip.

  57. The clock is ticking. As North Korea reportedly prepares to launch a long-range missile at Hawaii on the 4th of July, the elected leaders of Japan and South Korea have called for strict implementation of UN sanctions against the rogue nuclear armed regime:

  58. Hi Miglo, perhaps Ackerman like North Korea’s Dear Leader, does not handle spotlight deprivation syndrome like an adult?

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