Friday Footy!

AFL Preview with Tom of Melbourne

It is great news that Terry Wallace has finally been flicked. After relentlessly undermining him, crushing his own confidence and the confidence of others in him, the sports media is now free to talk about what a great and innovative coach he was.

We can also get on with attacking the next proud, former champion footballer that is now trying to coach a team lacking in talent.

Who’s next? Personally, I’m sick of Dean Laidley, it looks like he is gone. Who could blame North for trying to get a coach that can’t string a sentence together. There are other candidates for the block, Mick Malthouse, Mark Harvey, Mark Williams, even that little turd at Hawthorn is a chance (though he doesn’t meet my criteria of being proud or a former champion).

I say – bring on the speculation!! I’d love to see Mark Williams coach Collingwood, after being sacked by Port Adelaide. I’d like to see Graham Cornes back at Port. The players would like to see his wife back around the place too. She’s got a couple of bogan stepsons though.

On other news, apparently Kevin Rudd boycotted a dinner at the Minerals Council during the week.

He did them a big favour. There is nothing like a speech from the PM to spoil an appetite, and those mining execs love food. They’d have been very angry if he’d turned up to the trough and spoiled their appetite for swill.

I think Kevin should become an AFL Pesident at some stage, just like the failed politician Jeff Kennett. Imagine the savings on catering during the Presidents Lunch with Rudd speaking!

I believe Hawthorn already has a special coterie group, one where you can’t hear the president’s speech. It costs much more to join that one, but it is worth it.

This weeks games…

Dogs vs Richmond .

What a sensational win by the Tigers last week. Terry Wallace should have been dismissed on the spot immediately after the game. Now he will have to endure a thrashing by the club he walked out on. Dogs to win, Wallace to go out a loser. Tiger fans will spit at him for old time’s sake, this is a traditional send off from the tiger fans.

North vs St Kilda

North are genetically predisposed towards contracting swine flu. Particularly that @r$ehole that used to be their captain and still plays for them.

Therefore St Kilda to win again.

Brisbane vs Carlton

The problem with Carlton at the moment seems to be that the criminals have lost control. No Elliot, no Pratt. It is now a club that has lost its heritage. And Fev just can’t do it all on his own, no matter how many times he takes a leak under a security camera, or gets a barman in a headlock.

I don’t particularly object to Brisbane when they are playing Carlton , so they should win.

Port vs Fremantle

This game will be played in front of about 4,000 people. Traditionally this is the game with the least amount of interest for the entire season, it is between the runt teams of their respective states. Does it matter who wins? No but it will probably be Fremantle.

Hawthorn vs Sydney

Hawthorn is finished. Any club that predominantly has lawyers and bank managers as the membership base deserves to fail. Top this off with Kennett as president. Tossers. Hawthorn is the new Collingwood, everyone should hate them. The Swans should win easily.

West Coast vs Geelong

Most people in Western Australia have never left the state. We can all be grateful for that. But this is why they think Perth is a pleasant city, they don’t know any better. They have no idea about anything other than digging up their countryside and putting it on a ship to China . They don’t know what it means to have a loyal football club culture. That’s why Daniel Kerr plays for them.

The city of Geelong is mainly populated by bogans and bikies. Though they produce some fair footballers. So Geelong will win.

Melbourne vs Collingwood

The Collingwood fans will be late getting in to this game, they’ll be busy in the car park running keys along the side of the Range Rovers and Mercedes that the Melbourne fans drive. At the 12 minute mark of the 3rd quarter Melbourne people will inspect the damage, because they’ll all be leaving the game by the 10 minute mark, Collingwood will be 15 goals in front by then.

Does anyone care to speculate about the identity of players that have tested positive twice for a banned substance?

Big Brother Mouse

Here is the content of an email that I received at work from a lovely lady that I work with. I asked if I could use it on here. She was pleased and if anyone wants to donate some money, contact me via email and I can give you details of a bank account to use, or you can donate directly to the Big Brother Mouse website.

As you may know, I am shortly going to Laos for a couple of weeks. My friend who I am travelling with has been to Laos several times and has told me about a wonderful programme that supplies books to Laos children called “Big Brother Mouse“. This is a Lao-based (in Luang Prabang), Lao-owned project which designs and produces educational & fun books for kids, most of whom have neven seen or owned a book.

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Never Mind The Frolykz, here’s Weekend Wonderland!

Howdy Cats!

How’s it hanging..?

Speaking of which. It looks like the star of the 70’s TV show “Kung Fu” and “Kill Bill” David Carradine has snuffed it, apparently due to some bizarrre “sex act” gone wrong. He was found hanging by the neck and the nuts in the cupboard of some hotel room in Thailand.

Now it might just be me, but the idea of getting trussed up like a chook and dangling yourself in a cupboard for a few hours isn’t exactly my idea of “a good time.” But I suppose it takes all sorts. Carradine leaves behind 5 ex-wives and God knows how many pebbles.

On a personal note, I’m really getting into the routine of bringing my own lunch to work. Each day heralds the promised excitement of some hastily assembled concoction – usually consisting of some components of last night’s dinner mixed with whatever sauce that happens to be in the fridge that has the consistency of anything runnier than the primary substance of last night’s dinner.

Today, for example was a rather stodgy game sausage sandwich with grilled cheese smothered in gallons of barbeque sauce. Which by all accounts, tasted better than it sounds. Another ten bucks saved – ka-Ching!

“You can’t kill the duck?”

This is the question I’ve just emailed to a farming couple that we were meant to be having dinner with this Saturday. On the menu was supposedly a roast duck from their own duck squadron, flock, or battalion, or whatever you call a collection of ducks.

But they’ve just informed me that they can’t bring themselves to kill the duck. Apparantly killing chickens is not so bad, according to our farmer friends, but ducks, so we’re being lead to believe have little personalities.

I can’t say I blame them mind you, seeing as I doubt I could manage to kill a chicken never mind a duck.

So I guess we’ll be having roast tofu in orange sauce instead.

Anyway, unlike some of the public servants around here, I’ve got work to do, so I shall wish you all a happy weekend with this joyful little number..