Friday Footy with Tom of Melbourne…
What a week.
Kevin Rudd apparently he prays to God, perhaps he could coach Richmond , as nothing else works.
This weeks games…
Fremantle vs Richmond.
What a vital game. Early in the season it looked like the Freo coach, Mark Harvey, was a goner. The press had him nailed as ready for a quick but humiliating dismissal. He was crushed, finished, toast, his glory days as a premiership champion forgotten. But amazingly Freo started to win a couple of games, and the attention turned… to Terry.
Aficionados of lengthy humiliation (culminating in dismissal) of any coach don’t simply enjoy the end result.
No, we savour the high drama and the crushing degradation of a once proud man in the lead up to his execution. We should all appreciate these highlights of the football season; it is what the game is all about. I’m tipping the tigers to win. That will provide another week of agony for Terry.
Dogs vs Sydney.
This is the biggest and most exciting thing to happen in Canberra since Miglo was reclassified to Senior Clerk (Class 16). Miglo will be there with a team of hilarious and fun loving public servants. They’ll have their cardigans buttoned up, to protect against the cold. Miglo will have a bit of a push and shove/fight with a dogs supporter during the first quarter. Miglo will prevail and by three quarter time she will give Miglo her phone number.
Dog lovers will be well satisfied with the result of this encounter.
Adelaide (aka Snowtown/Truro United FC) vs Hawthorn.
Hawthorn will win. But… the Snowtown/Truro United people are sore losers and have their own means of extracting retribution. So Hawthorn President/failed politician Kennett should hire extra security. Though as perhaps as a service to the Victorian public we should let them loose.
Collingwood vs Port Adelaide
The feathers will fly as these 2 hopelessly underachieving clubs compete for the title of “the most pathetic Magpie team in Australia ”. On our footy thread last week we had an interesting discussion about the favourite drinks of football teams (great idea baraholka1). I suggested that Collingwood supporters weren’t particularly choosey; they just stole whatever was handy at the bottle shop. Port, on the other hand, only steal their preferred drop, and this is usually stocked by hardware suppliers.
Port will win and their supporters will celebrate in their usual fashion – doing donuts/burnouts/wheelies all the way back to the border. Lock up the supplies of metho at the Horsham Mitre 10, they’ll need a refill by then.
Carlton vs West Coast
Old money club vs very new money club. Fevola will get drunk at that revolting , and typically Perth , casino . He will have a fight with a croupier after urinating without leaving the table. Daniel Kerr will follow suit. These teams have so much in common. Carlton will win.
North vs Brisbane
The hyenas will turn on Dean Laidley after this game. He will probably be coach of Richmond next year, but only for the first 5 or 6 rounds. They’ll then sack him. Brisbane usually win when playing talentless teams which are hopelessly coached, such as North.
St Kilda vs Melbourne
This is a genuine clash of cultures. St Kilda has a tradition of being the party club. Melbourne President Jim Stynes will have no parties and no fun. Melbourne is now the wowsers club.
Stynes is so far up himself and such a painful bore, I’m tipping that he will be Premier of Victoria within 5 years. Saints will win. Melbourne players will console themselves with some “diversity training”, run personally by the ever dull, the always pontificating, Stynes.
Essendon vs Geelong
Did I mention that Essendon supporters are very up market these days? They drink chardonnay, from 2 litre casks. In glasses!! They are very posh bogans. Geelong won last weeks because they were on the receiving end of lots of biased umpiring decisions. We can only hope that they win in a similarly dodgy fashion this week.
James is again contributing, he has agreed to resume his football reviews next week.
By the way … I also think we could solve the North Korean issue, but sending a “joint” force of Richmond and Port Adelaide supporters to deal with them. Those communists would be stuffed, the bogans would have their hoon cars in a pincer movement, smokin’ wheelies and all. The North Koreans would probably drop a bomb on them, but to no effect. Apparently cockroaches and the like can survive an atomic bomb.
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