Friday Footy!

Friday Footy with Tom of Melbourne…

What a week.

Kevin Rudd apparently he prays to God, perhaps he could coach Richmond , as nothing else works.

This weeks games…

Fremantle vs Richmond.

What a vital game. Early in the season it looked like the Freo coach, Mark Harvey, was a goner. The press had him nailed as ready for a quick but humiliating dismissal. He was crushed, finished, toast, his glory days as a premiership champion forgotten. But amazingly Freo started to win a couple of games, and the attention turned… to Terry.

Aficionados of lengthy humiliation (culminating in dismissal) of any coach don’t simply enjoy the end result.

No, we savour the high drama and the crushing degradation of a once proud man in the lead up to his execution. We should all appreciate these highlights of the football season; it is what the game is all about. I’m tipping the tigers to win. That will provide another week of agony for Terry.

Dogs vs Sydney.

This is the biggest and most exciting thing to happen in Canberra since Miglo was reclassified to Senior Clerk (Class 16). Miglo will be there with a team of hilarious and fun loving public servants. They’ll have their cardigans buttoned up, to protect against the cold. Miglo will have a bit of a push and shove/fight with a dogs supporter during the first quarter. Miglo will prevail and by three quarter time she will give Miglo her phone number.

Dog lovers will be well satisfied with the result of this encounter.

Adelaide (aka Snowtown/Truro United FC) vs Hawthorn.

Hawthorn will win. But… the Snowtown/Truro United people are sore losers and have their own means of extracting retribution. So Hawthorn President/failed politician Kennett should hire extra security. Though as perhaps as a service to the Victorian public we should let them loose.

Collingwood vs Port Adelaide

The feathers will fly as these 2 hopelessly underachieving clubs compete for the title of “the most pathetic Magpie team in Australia ”. On our footy thread last week we had an interesting discussion about the favourite drinks of football teams (great idea baraholka1). I suggested that Collingwood supporters weren’t particularly choosey; they just stole whatever was handy at the bottle shop. Port, on the other hand, only steal their preferred drop, and this is usually stocked by hardware suppliers.

Port will win and their supporters will celebrate in their usual fashion – doing donuts/burnouts/wheelies all the way back to the border. Lock up the supplies of metho at the Horsham Mitre 10, they’ll need a refill by then.

Carlton vs West Coast

Old money club vs very new money club. Fevola will get drunk at that revolting , and typically Perth , casino . He will have a fight with a croupier after urinating without leaving the table. Daniel Kerr will follow suit. These teams have so much in common. Carlton will win.

North vs Brisbane

The hyenas will turn on Dean Laidley after this game. He will probably be coach of Richmond next year, but only for the first 5 or 6 rounds. They’ll then sack him. Brisbane usually win when playing talentless teams which are hopelessly coached, such as North.

St Kilda vs Melbourne

This is a genuine clash of cultures. St Kilda has a tradition of being the party club. Melbourne President Jim Stynes will have no parties and no fun. Melbourne is now the wowsers club.

Stynes is so far up himself and such a painful bore, I’m tipping that he will be Premier of Victoria within 5 years. Saints will win. Melbourne players will console themselves with some “diversity training”, run personally by the ever dull, the always pontificating, Stynes.

Essendon vs Geelong

Did I mention that Essendon supporters are very up market these days? They drink chardonnay, from 2 litre casks. In glasses!! They are very posh bogans. Geelong won last weeks because they were on the receiving end of lots of biased umpiring decisions. We can only hope that they win in a similarly dodgy fashion this week.

James is again contributing, he has agreed to resume his football reviews next week.

By the way … I also think we could solve the North Korean issue, but sending a “joint” force of Richmond and Port Adelaide supporters to deal with them. Those communists would be stuffed, the bogans would have their hoon cars in a pincer movement, smokin’ wheelies and all. The North Koreans would probably drop a bomb on them, but to no effect. Apparently cockroaches and the like can survive an atomic bomb.

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31 Responses

  1. Re the ‘Woods versus Port. And is there a BBQ at my place following the game?..you blokes had better let me know so that I bring in supplies.

    BYO up-market wine (for the Ports), but I will supply the ethnic Italian/Greek/Lebanese yummy things for the bbq. And the SA Horsham-ites will probably be no-shows as they will be too busy playing golf.

  2. Adelaide 15.14 (104)
    Carlton 8.12 (60)

    Sydney 45.24 (314)
    Port 0.0 (0)

    When the Crows win, it’s a good weekend.
    When the Crows win and Port lost, it’s a great weekend.
    When the Crows beat Port it’s a perfect weekend.

    Last weekend was a GREAT weekend.
    Skulled many a stiff Chardonnay in appreciation.

    OK, yes, I should probably get a life.

    Barra

  3. ROFL @ Miglo and the Bulldogs supporter.

  4. The feathers will fly as these 2 hopelessly underachieving clubs compete for the title of “the most pathetic Magpie team in Australia ”.

    Reb, you have exclaimed in the past that you know nothing about AFL. This comment confirms it. Port Adelaide and Collingwood – I’ll have you know – are 2 of the proudest and most respected clubs in Australia. And we have tradition, unlike these conglomerates that masquerade as football clubs.

    And sadly I won’t be at Manuka to watch the game. Swan’s games are generally as boring as Crow’s games, but not quite as bad.

    I’d rather watch you paint your house.

  5. PS – the boring public servants will attend, as will a few busloads of loony fanatics from Sydney.

    The Canberra elite will be at home watching the Port/Collingwood game on Fox. With a shiraz of course.

  6. Miglo re: Port Adelaide and Collingwood – I’ll have you know – are 2 of the proudest and most respected clubs in Australia..

    Jeff has just arrived home and says that you are half right.

  7. FA Cup tomorrow night !

  8. Migs,

    The post was written by your close friend Tom of Melbourne..

  9. No Miglo, I can picture you at the game.

    In typical neutral public service fashion, you’ll applaud both teams.

    This will get up the nose of some dog-woman, who has driven overnight to get to the game. I expect her to start the fight.

    You’ll only have to impress her by letting slip what type of car you drive.

  10. “The Canberra elite”

    What? All four of you…?

  11. The post was written by your close friend Tom of Melbourne.

    Well I’ll add AFL to the long list of subjects that Tom knows sweet F all about.

  12. Tom, if she’s from Melbourne there’s a strong chance I own her house.

  13. Miglo – “Well I’ll add AFL to the long list of subjects that Tom knows sweet F all about.”

    Finally we agree on an issue. I don’t know much about footy, just about bogans, hoons, and the like. That is, the people that administer and follow the sport.

  14. Min, on May 29th, 2009 at 3:35 pm Said:

    “Miglo re: Port Adelaide and Collingwood – I’ll have you know – are 2 of the proudest and most respected clubs in Australia..

    Jeff has just arrived home and says that you are half right.”

    Yes, Min. It’s a pity about Collingwood.

  15. Mmmmmmmmm……..!

    St George Illawarra won yet again !

    By the way Guys……..and Gals of course.

    Chelsea (Guis Hiddink coaches) v Everton ( Timmy Cahill playing…..he plays for Oz remember guys and gals) tomorrow night.

    I guess the question is whether both teams from “The North”………..being Man U and Everton can lose in the same week. Though I dont think Liverpool fans will care too much.

    TB……………….?

    Where are you………….?

  16. Dave55

    Your guys have no hope this weekend…..!

    Or it will be close………….!

  17. Thank you Jane..at least when the Port crew come to visit, you know that they will bring their own fine SA wine..probably worried about what we Woods supporters might provide..chateau cardboard? However, we Collingwood persons do some great Italian/Greek/Lebanese nibblies.

  18. Tigers had a good win over the schizo-dockers. Damn awesome finish to the game.

    Loved Cousins’ defiant middle finger to the TV cameras too; watch the anti-cuz movement go into overdrive again.

    Nightshift has kept me from the FA Cup so I better go see who won…hopefully not the blue bastards…erm, they’re both blue?

  19. I’m sorry I missed the ending Crowdung. I watched about 10 minutes of the second quarter and not once in that 10 minutes did I see a team actually kick the ball foward.

    Muttered to myself “do I have to watch this crap?” Turned over to the St Kilda game. Much the same.

    It’s all a prelude to watching how the Crows play today. Will they play sideways or backward?

  20. Crows played pretty well for three Qtrs (again) & had a good win.

    Twedders & the gang were insipid…again.

    As the sage Baraholka1 would say…IT WAS A GREAT WEEKEND!

  21. Oh yeah, the yellow bastards won the FA Cup. Grrrrrrrrr.

  22. Jane.re it’s a pity about Collingwood..we Collingwood supporters are modest in victory.

    I am obviously owed a crate or several of fine SA wine.

  23. Tony..umm :S.. I can imagine this.

  24. Yes Min. Dazed and confused.

  25. Good morning Tony.

    Ah. The irony . . . Oftenbark Nostradamus did in fact suggest the showing of the door way back after AFL round one.
    Poor ol Caroline metalmouth. Indeed an anus horribilus in Tigerland. So which crock now gets the next 5-year contract at Tigerland. Surely not another?
    As Floyd once classically uttered . . .
    ‘and did we tell you the name of the game, boy,
    we call it ridin’ the gravy train
    Never mind. Future quality draft picks will be few and far between. The number of crap AFL sides will increase in 2011 from 12 to 14. Parents of pubescent little boys will be dancing in the street quoting Floyd. Mothers will be mounting their SUVs, delivering morning tea and lunch packs to their little boys at AFL training grounds.

    Ah. The irony of the ‘washing bookies car’.
    Really funny. I’d just had my motor vehicle expertly detailed for a trip on this now past WA long weekend. Still laughing.
    Now Tony, was that quip a Scenic Blast, Scenic Shot, perhaps? I shall not label you as a Black Piranha.
    All taken in good spirit.
    Hope to see you at the Chapel Street TAB soon Tony, while my new wife negotiates the purchase of George’s entire store.

  26. Hi Oftenbark,

    Yes you did indeed “tip this” – even 7 weeks if memory serves.

    And the WA horse is cleaning up in Brisbane. I hope the same goes for you.

  27. Actually Tony, I do have a long memory.
    Thanks for Piranha, Skidaw, Divine Rebel, and others. Very, very good results and excellent form reading on your behalf. I can tell you the connections of Scenic Shot/Blast have had winning bets, since Newmarket day, of $30,000, $20,000, $30,000 each way at odds of 20/1, 12/1, 10/1, (plus prizemoney, do the sums) not sure yet what they got at Eagle farm, probably 3/1; 4/1. Royal Ascot next.

  28. Nice to see you again OB.

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