When you’re an international leader of power, charisma, charm and good looks, it’s important to maintain a well-groomed and carefully orchestrated appearance whenever you’re in the public eye.
It should come as no surprise then, that together with a number of essential men’s grooming products no self-respecting Australian Prime Minister should ever travel without the companionship of a small travel-sized hair dryer.
Compact, and ready to go anywhere, wherever the international man of leisure is heading, it’s no surprise that our PM Kevin Rudd depends on this important accessory.
How else would one be expected to carry of this casual wind-swept look?
But is it really fair to single out the PM as the only pollie who pays careful attention to manicuring his moptop to perfection? Frankly, I think not.
Consider Helen Coonan, usually renowned for her lavish, some would say, tragically overdone sense of makeup, and over-the-top grooming style – here she is looking like she’s just been dragged through a hedge backwards. Not the kind of photo you’d like to wake up to in the morning. A face like a well slapped arse? I’m sorry Helen, but yes, I’m afraid so.
Julie Bishop is clearly no stranger to the can of hair spray either, here sporting a nice Lady Diana soft casual look, which cleverly conceals “the bitch within”. Why, she almost looks human. In fact, it could almost be an album cover couldn’t it? If only if it wasn’t for those fu*kin’ eyes.
And let’s not forget the already forgotten Bronwyn Bishop. Yes she is still alive! No one quite knows what she does but I imagine a great deal of it involves fannying about in front of a mirror to achieve this dazzling display of sultry glamour.
What a marvellous bubbly and energetic personality. Stepping out in style Bronwyn makes no shame of her natural beauty – it’s just a pity you can’t fu*kin’ see any of it. Or is it…
But of course, it’s not all about the girls. While there’s probably not a great deal of room for movement, Alexander Downer’s “steel wool” hairdo perfectly matched his steely eyed missile man persona when he dragged Australia into the largely successful Iraq war. What a guy! “That’s not happiness to see me is it?” asks the AWB commission.
But of course, if we had to name one winner in the perfectly groomed hairdo category, I think few would argue that the award would go to Kevin Andrews – the Minister for Maintaining a shade of perfect burgundy – that would make even the most dedicated of two-bit Bankstown stay-at-home mum’s do-it-yourself-home-dying-job-kits green with envy.
Ne’er a grey hair has managed to permeate Kevin’s scalp to cop a glimpse of daylight without being immediately smothered in sludgy burgundy die. This doesn’t just courage, it takes months of steely eyed determination to make sure the job is done. And done right, all the time, every time. A true contendor, A true medal-winning performance. What a guy!
In this day and age, it seems that a great deal of our politicians’ competence and credibility literally “rests on their heads.”
So why should we blame them for a bit of mousse there, and wad of gel here, and a power blast of hairspray to finish it all off?
While it may seem to have become only recently newsworthy, one can only speculate as to how things might’ve been different if this had been an issue at the last election…