Much ado about a hairdo.

When you’re an international leader of power, charisma, charm and good looks, it’s important to maintain a well-groomed and carefully orchestrated appearance whenever you’re in the public eye.

It should come as no surprise then, that together with a number of essential men’s grooming products no self-respecting Australian Prime Minister should ever travel without the companionship of a small travel-sized hair dryer.
Compact, and ready to go anywhere, wherever the international man of leisure is heading, it’s no surprise that our PM Kevin Rudd depends on this important accessory.

How else would one be expected to carry of this casual wind-swept look?


But is it really fair to single out the PM as the only pollie who pays careful attention to manicuring his moptop to perfection? Frankly, I think not.

Consider Helen Coonan, usually renowned for her lavish, some would say, tragically overdone sense of makeup, and over-the-top grooming style – here she is looking like she’s just been dragged through a hedge backwards. Not the kind of photo you’d like to wake up to in the morning. A face like a well slapped arse? I’m sorry Helen, but yes, I’m afraid so.


Julie Bishop is clearly no stranger to the can of hair spray either, here sporting a nice Lady Diana soft casual look, which cleverly conceals “the bitch within”. Why, she almost looks human. In fact, it could almost be an album cover couldn’t it? If only if it wasn’t for those fu*kin’ eyes.

julie bishop

And let’s not forget the already forgotten Bronwyn Bishop. Yes she is still alive! No one quite knows what she does but I imagine a great deal of it involves fannying about in front of a mirror to achieve this dazzling display of sultry glamour.

What a marvellous bubbly and energetic personality. Stepping out in style Bronwyn makes no shame of her natural beauty – it’s just a pity you can’t fu*kin’ see any of it. Or is it…


But of course, it’s not all about the girls. While there’s probably not a great deal of room for movement, Alexander Downer’s “steel wool” hairdo perfectly matched his steely eyed missile man persona when he dragged Australia into the largely successful Iraq war. What a guy! “That’s not happiness to see me is it?” asks the AWB commission.


But of course, if we had to name one winner in the perfectly groomed hairdo category, I think few would argue that the award would go to Kevin Andrews – the Minister for Maintaining a shade of perfect burgundy – that would make even the most dedicated of two-bit Bankstown stay-at-home mum’s do-it-yourself-home-dying-job-kits green with envy.

Ne’er a grey hair has managed to permeate Kevin’s scalp to cop a glimpse of daylight without being immediately smothered in sludgy burgundy die. This doesn’t just courage, it takes months of steely eyed determination to make sure the job is done. And done right, all the time, every time. A true contendor, A true medal-winning performance. What a guy!


In this day and age, it seems that a great deal of our politicians’ competence and credibility literally “rests on their heads.”

So why should we blame them for a bit of mousse there, and wad of gel here, and a power blast of hairspray to finish it all off?

While it may seem to have become only recently newsworthy, one can only speculate as to how things might’ve been different if this had been an issue at the last election…



16 Responses

  1. This guy has the best kept hair in Parliament.

    Scarier in real life!

  2. In what could have only been an accidental oversight, this carefully coiffed couple has been omitted from the parade of glamour above.

  3. So the PM allegedly chucked a wobbly cause he couldn’t get a blowjob?

    Who hasn’t?

    Maybe he should employ a professional fluffer.

  4. FFS Tony!

    Would you mind issuing a warning if you’re going to post pictures like that!!

    And people thought my JC pic was distasteful!!

  5. Gillard one must admit does have a rather impressive bosom (as one would say in the 19th Century) however she is not a Glenn Close. Tim however does make a rather good Christopher Walken.

  6. LOL! Funny post Reb!

  7. I rather like the Kevin Andrews look.

    I polish my shoes with the same stuff he uses on his hair.

    Kevin Rudd would do well to take note, he should stop worrying so much about the dampness and show more concern with the greyness.

    Kevin has to lift his game. Please, try this – “Gradually restores natural looking colour to grey hair.”

  8. I’d say Helen Coonan and Brony get dressed in the dark.

  9. I think that someone should let Kevin Andrews know that there is something called ‘regrowth’. The slight show of grey on the sidies are a bit of a giveaway that it’s about time for another application of Grecian 2000. Also that it contains lead, which could account for a few things…..

  10. A face like a well slapped arse?

    sreb, only you could use such an experienced description, dahling! 😉


    Stephan, on May 8th, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Stephan – I live in Brisbane and I suggest you should refrain posting on a thread about hairdressing… 😀

    …and before N5 trots out from the wings – I know the f***kin’ spelling is different – its a JOKE!

  11. My God TB!

    That link to Stefan’s web site – di you do the background music – sounds like it would be one of your numbers..

    Love the Intro – “Stefan – more than a hairdresser”

    I guess they left the bit out about being a big woggy poof!

  12. TB, I’m not only known for my brilliant salon skills. I’m also quite handy with fast boats and fast women. Women like to feel the throb of my rather large……….marine V16.

  13. Haha mate you really have to get a life. How many hours did you spend on this one?

  14. Well, isn’t Julia’s partner a hair stylists?

  15. Lol. Let me congratulate you on your selection of pics reb.

    1. Kev sporting the classic cheesy Milky Bar Kid look;

    2 Helen Coonan looking like she just stepped-off that broomstick she rode to work;

    3 Julie Bishop with every follicle disciplined to within an inch of its life (no naughty corners there);

    4. Bronnie doing her Bride of Dracula impersonation;

    5. Dolly Downer channeling Eraserhead;

    6. KA looking like he’s painted his hair-on like that Ninja dude in the old Samurai series on TV;

    7. And last but certainly not least, a couple of school-boy refugees from an AC/DC concert (circa 1978), complete with school uniforms so they could hang-out with Angus after the show and chug-back few tinnies.

    What a collection.

    And special thanks to Tony for the blowsy picture of La Stupenda herself, Julia Gillard. I never noticed she was so well, erm…..built, where it counts.

    BTW, who’s the stiff in the photo with her? Looks like he shares a slab in the morgue with Phil (I’m not dead) Ruddock.

  16. Yes Reb, thank you for bringing up this very important topic. Our beloved PM was just setting an example for our troops. Before you go into battle you must make sure that you have your hair blow dried. Since I don’t think you provided the link you can read it here,21985,25445845-661,00.html

    Same goes with underwear. My mother always told me to have clean underwear. You just never know when you might be in a car accident for example.

    However he did deny the incident. So it must not have happened.

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