God hates Tai Chi.

Embracing the Devil - A Group of Senior Citizens Defy God

Embracing the Devil - A Group of Senior Citizens Defy God

First it was rock music (the work of “the devil”), recently it was condoms (spreading AIDS), and now it seems that Tai Chi, and devotees thereof, are on “a highway to hell.”

In yet another demonstration of tolerance and acceptance, a Christian Church in the northwest coast of Tasmania has banned a group of senior citizens from practising the gentle form of excercise – ostensibly because it will lead to “devil worship.”

According to news.com.au, the Wynyard Baptist Church took offence at a senior citizens’ Tai Chi class that emerged “by stealth” under its roof.

Church leader the Reverend Viv Morse says a council of leading parishioners decided the gentle martial art’s philosophies were incompatible with the Bible’s teachings.

“This is a clash between Eastern mysticism and Christianity,” Reverend Morse said.

“Half of Tai Chi is Taoism and Zen Buddhism, which is in total contrast to what we as a Christian church believe in,” Rev Morse said.

“Now, as far as we are concerned, it had nothing to do with the exercises, and if they remained ‘gentle exercises with Arthritis Tasmania’ we would have been happy – but they didn’t.”

Rev Morse said “all of a sudden” the class became “Tai Chi”, in advertising material.

“It’s about a type of meditation, and what they call search for enlightenment, where you go into things like yoga do (yoga do) or, like in the martial arts, meditations where you just emptied your mind and let it go wherever it wanted to.

“Well that stands in opposition to Christianity, which says we are to be in control of our faculties.”

“Yoga do?” Does this guy actually have any idea what he’s talking about? We’re talking about a group of senior citizens doing some gentle exercise for heaven’s sake.

Jackie Slyp from Arthritis Tasmania reckons the church could show a bit more understanding of Tai Chi’s therapeutic benefits.

“I was a little disappointed that we didn’t have the opportunity to talk to them about the benefits of Tai Chi for arthritis,” Ms Slyp said.

So here we have another example of the Christian church declaring that their religion is “the one true religion” and that other forms of spiritualism or perceived views of those “faiths” – however ignorant and ill-informed – simply cannot be tolerated.

Jesus Wept.

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39 Responses

  1. Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of a Tai Chi class?

    You have?

    Then away with you, you smelly, supple old devil spawn you!! Take your saggy bones hence from this place of worship immediately!! Don’t you come flexing your tuckshop arms at me, you heathen old bags!!

    Bloody meditating commie bastards … They’ll be levitating next … Perhaps a prayer or two may calm me down …

    …Our Lord, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Give us this day our daily choirboy, and a Chux or two to clean up the mess.

  2. “…and a Chux or two to clean up the mess.”

    ROFLMAO…

    priceless.

  3. Meanwhile in another demonstration of tolerance and acceptance, Miss California gets targeted by the gays for having an opinion…..

  4. “Meanwhile in another demonstration of tolerance and acceptance, Miss California gets targeted by the gays for having an opinion…..”

    Now you know that “tolerance and acceptance” is only reserved for those they agree with………Now fall in line……..

  5. Still unrepentant reb? 😉

    I read that article myself and wondered about the christian ‘message of respect and tolerance for all’ that was being hotly debated last week!

    “Well that stands in opposition to Christianity, which says we are to be in control of our faculties.”

    hehe, how can followers of faith assert to being in control of their faculties? Faith, being a belief that isn’t based on evidence! Religion is about brainwashing of children, mind control, tradition and following the dictates of men. Not rational or logical thinking which supports control of the faculties IMO.

    Can’t have people’s minds going wherever they want, thinking whatever thoughts they want can we?

  6. “Religion is about brainwashing of children, mind control, tradition and following the dictates of men.”

    I think they call that a society?

  7. “Still unrepentant reb?”

    May as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, Kitty…! 😉

    And yes, heaven forbid, that people should actually be at liberty for their minds to wander off, thinking whatever thoughts they want et cetera…

  8. The Rev Viv Morse:

    “Half of Tai Chi is Taoism and Zen Buddhism”

    Does that mean that Taoism and Zen Buddhism are each an equal quarter of that half that the reverend refers to?

    I wonder what the other half is…satanic sacrifice? How come we don’t hear about that…??

  9. I had a thought once.

    Damn, it hurt.

  10. “And yes, heaven forbid, that people should actually be at liberty for their minds to wander off, thinking whatever thoughts they want et cetera…”

    Ha ha yeah ask Miss California

  11. Meanwhile in another demonstration of tolerance and acceptance, Miss California uses her public profile to spread a message of gay hate and religious fundamentalism.

    Hilton, Miss California take sides on `Today’

    Hilton, who also appeared on the “Today” show Tuesday, said his question was relevant and that Prejean should have “left her politics and her religion out because Miss USA represents all Americans.”

  12. “It’s not about being politically correct,” she said. “For me, it’s about being biblically correct.”

    Quite right too. I mean why let whimsical contemporary notions like “political correctness” get in the way of a bit of good old fashioned bible-based bigotry…

  13. Carrie Prejean’s Miss California triple scandal: Nude photos, boob jobs and gay marriage:

    …It is right and fitting that this beauty pageant contestant is being upheld, because in all honesty, a nearly naked woman, strutting her surgically enhanced body parts in front of men while mouthing moral platitudes is the very picture of the carnal church today. Weep.

  14. The Carnal Church?

    Where do I sign up?

  15. Nope never been a member of Tai Chi class but I have done psychic readings for Osho.

  16. “Half of Tai Chi is Taoism and Zen Buddhism”

    Or, put another way:

    “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.”

    ~Yogi Berra, US baseball player, coach, & manager (1925 – )

  17. Reb, God loves Tai Chi, in fact He invented it. God is actually quite a nice person once you get to know him and are able to get over all the negative PR.

  18. No prizes for guessing why the Church objects to the enlightenment and peace that’s supposed to come from meditating……that way lies many less converts and dare i say, church-goer contributions to the coffers.

    It must be exhausting to have to think about God all the time, apparently it doesn’t leave any room for tolerance.

  19. No prizes for guessing

    That, perhaps, isn’t quite true, deb. Arguably, you win the same gold star that B. Tolputt won when he didn’t cipher the significance of his rationalisations for Reb’s dogwhistle statements as they apply to a Reb worldview and select Reb narrative:

    Reb:

    So here we have another example of the Christian church declaring that their religion is “the one true religion” and that other forms of spiritualism or perceived views of those “faiths” – however ignorant and ill-informed – simply cannot be tolerated.

    Do we really? Or were they nice enough to assert themselves and their freedom from someone else’s religion in their place before going on their destructive rampage to tear down every other form of faith and spiritualism in an orgy of intolerance on the streets of Wynard? Reb’s source appears to state:

    Rev Morse says the church’s decision is final. However, it will help the group find another venue. “That’s our prerogative. We own this building,” he said. “We welcomed them here under their other name, quite openly and willingly, but once they changed that and changed their whole approach that’s when our problems began.”

    And then there’s B.Tolputt rationale for Reb’s position on owned places, and his no ‘ifs, buts, or maybes’ approach:

    I’m a little different. I would not, for example, take down the picture of a dead relative in my house regardless of the offense it caused a visiting Aboriginal nor would I stop eating a ham sandwich because I was having lunch with my Jewish friends (I have two of them).

    If I were expected to do either of those things – I would be offended because that is having someone else’s belief pushed onto my lifestyle. On the other hand, they have the right to expect I won’t be offering them pork roast for dinner or flashing photos of dead people in their homes.

    Oh, dear, BT. If, however, Reb is merely acknowledging that the Wynard Baptist Church is not the Wynard Daoist Temple of Tai Chi or the Wynard Atheist Clan Happening, in a tolerant liberal democracy which tolerates all of those things and tolerates their occurences in places appropriate for them, but not to the extent that those things inevitably annihilate another or each other in a manufactured (in)tolerance, I could probably go along with that. On the flipside, who knows where a manufactured (in)tolerance, as appears to be the case here, might end up; Reb never does quite have the courage to state what he’d really like to have happen to, and for, other peoples’ wandering minds in his releasing them from the shackles of asserting themselves and their beliefs in their places; and his not suppressing those same people in complete negation of those persons, their thoughts, and their fundamental human rights to exercise their religion alone or in company, which seems, umm, yeah, tolerant in that larger liberal democratic sense. LetMake them eat pork? And if they won’t eat pork….

  20. And Legion, these churches have diddly-squat to do with God. As per previous God invented Tai Chi.

  21. So here we have another example of the Christian church declaring that their religion is “the one true religion” and that other forms of spiritualism or perceived views of those “faiths” – however ignorant and ill-informed – simply cannot be tolerated.

    True. But as someone who has tried to learn Tai Chi at the St Mary’s Anglican Church Hall in Preston I would say that this is an example of a batty Tasmanian Baptist. The Anglican Church there is very happy to have Tai Chi there and had done so for many years.

    Also we have the Augustine Centre here in Melbourne (owned and run by the Uniting Church – http://www.augustine.org.au/) that at the moment is running courses such as ‘Contemplation & Mindfulness’, and Ordinary Mind Zen’ and offers Psychotherapy, Reflexology, Feldenkrais, Yoga. To name a few. I’ve done a meditation course there…in the actual church!!

    P.S. I am not a Christian, but I guess God does like Tai Chi, and meditation, Yoga etc. At least here in Melbourne.

  22. Well do tell Guido, I can just imagine you at the Tai chi class at St Mary’s in Preston.

    I think that you will have to join me for the Big Omm.

    Likewise I am not a Christian as such but am a Godling.

  23. Min, on May 7th, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Well, by definition, the ‘I am what I am’ is also the ‘It is what it is’; so, yes, a godhead which is an holistic ‘All’, as I have reason for prognosticating it might be, is also then the ultimate source of Tai Chi and also of not Tai Chi. But that’s just in my Cosmology, which is a gnostic panentheistic variant; and one which sustains the thought that what some like to refer to as ‘God’ has everything and nothing to do with ‘these churches’ and ‘not churches’, Tai Chi and not Tai Chi. Strangely, it’s also the reason why I tend to think that ‘God’ loves all things and all people, even if people cannot always rise to that same standard in their approaches to one another and perceived differences. Mind you, holding to that kind of Cosmology would probably not make me innately welcome at the Wynard Baptist Church if I went about seeking to change ‘what it is’, and I probably would accept that as being a place I wouldn’t necessarily be dabbling in ignorant and ill-informed understandings of what flow of ideas were involved beneath the surface of that particular stream.

  24. Which is why Himself is presenting me with the ‘squishy hug’ theory. However, it is of course a matter of choice which the Godling person superior being never gave unto himself. That is, Himself does not have a choice, he gave this to us His/Her hu-persons (and other beings in the great beyond). We get to choose between good and otherwise, Himself does not have this choice.

    So thus and ergo, it all basically comes down to the squishy hug and to the receiving and sending of same.

  25. Min, on May 7th, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    Squishy hugs are always good, Min. 🙂

    Some ‘hugs’, which are not squishy hugs, however, really are better characterised literally as noli me tangere occasions; and in that I can both agree in inspiration with, and disagree in expiration of, Reb’s approach, by taking a different path to reaching similar and disparate conclusions about the noumena of the pneuma of similar and disparate things, it seems.

    Mind you, it is also somewhat likely that a manifestation of ‘Om’ might be one and yet plural, in more ways than one, in any conjoined meta-concert. I can do that. 😉

  26. Oh dear. I am damned.

  27. Wow! Is the good Rev Halfwit campaigning to have sinful gymnasia closed globally? Bet the Chinese didn’t know they were engaging in anti-Christian practices when they invented Tai Chi.

    In light of the rev’s recent ferreting out of sinful, marriage-threatening, un-Christian exercise regimes, will he campaign to stop sports days? I mean it’s too late for me, but think of all the other parents who will no longer have to undergo this sadistic torture. Go, Rev What’saname!

  28. The good Revrend is gonna save us.

    We all know Tai Chi nothing more than a Commie plot to pollute our purity of essence and precious bodily fluids.

    Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.

  29. No religious intolerance, from the religious, on display here.
    No paranoid inklings that the Baptist faith is too insecure to accomodate unsavoury Eastern Mysticism.

    If the lady with arthritis had any sense she’d just forsake the false doctrine of Tai Chi & surrender herself to the Baptists, who after some quaint talking in tongues & feverish laying on of hands would cast Satan out & be rid of the arthritis forever.

  30. Maybe it’s a bit like mixing up the cutting-boards. An omnivore won’t care necessarily either way until the absence of hygiene catches up with them indirectly, but a certain kind of vegetarian will ‘just know’ instantly that the boards were confused, even when any regularly available evidence of the confusion has been concealed. Those sorts of things interest me, and always have, if not those who never see any confusion of cutting-boards at all, or only so far as they would act as the agency of confusion, wittingly or unwittingly.

  31. intuition?

  32. Toiletb..my late dad was a Baptist and he certainly wasn’t into Tai Chi, would rather have been down the pub 🙂

  33. Toiletboss, on May 8th, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Maybe, or mu; depends on what intuition is and is not.

  34. Legion:

    “Maybe it’s a bit like mixing up the cutting-boards….a certain kind of vegetarian will ‘just know’ instantly that the boards were confused, even when any regularly available evidence of the confusion has been concealed…”

    “Those sorts of things interest me, and always have..”

    Funnily enough, I do not find this surprising.

  35. I realise that I probably come across as vehemently anti-religious, in a way this is my intention.

    However I have no problem with people holding individual beliefs that tickle their fancy; just as I am free to believe or disbelieve myself.

    The nature of the Baptists rejecting Eastern Mysticism (WTF ever that means?) is the epitome of what I don’t like about (all) organized religion. Presumably their interpretation of what “god” is & what he/she/it wants or expects is indisputable & profoundly correct in a questionably absolute way.
    All religions, Eastern, Western, Archaic or Divergent seem so certain that their faith is the only valid one; to the point of exclusion of all others who are similarly convinced that theirs is in fact the One True God.
    As an outsider observing from a distance it’s just preposterous to me.
    Just a personal opinion.

    To find fault with Tai Chi, for the reasons cited, is just plain ridiculous IMO.

    You’re right though Legion, I respond very promptly to the dogwhistle.

  36. Shut it toilet, yer no boss mate, yer an intolerant joke.

    I mean, all the important blokes reckon yers should be banned from doin that bloomin poofy yoga too. It’s 123% ungodly Hindu rubbish, because i flippin say so, OK?

  37. Wow, I make no contribution whatsoever to this thread and I still am attacked for my blind following of the “Reb Rationale”. For the record, been on holiday all week enjoying the wonderful coastline God created or allowed to be created or….

    Still, “The Reb Rationale” makes for a nice title doesn’t it? It could be about the godless heathens and their unrelenting attacks on undeserving religious organisations for acts too disgusting to mention (hint, have you seen the fashion faux pas of the Catholic Clergy?!?).

    Given the way Dan Brown’s dribble sells, I’ll have myself a Legion of fans in no time 😛

  38. Welcome back, BT; glad you enjoyed the holiday beside the seaside, whatever its inspiration. 🙂

    And fair cop, arguably, on the mis-appropriation of your good name’s rationale, and I’ll try not to delude myself about that: my names are legion, and Hypocrisy be one, and not the least, of them. 😉

    Let me attempt to make clear, however, that ‘you’ were never ‘attacked’, only your initial ‘rationale’ for somebody else’s ostensible rationale, or at least not by me and only ever by implication, and even then only by way of a contrasting study; but I can also see how that subsidiary rationale’s being incorporated and used by me in such exemplary fashion could be, and probably is, irksome; and for that I apologise, but not for the use, as an ongoing explanatory force for my position (as delusional as that position might also seemingly be, without further inquiry or explication, which I come to by-and-by and next).

    So, in the interests of an ongoing incorporation of available materiel to-hand, I might then offer this as a useful Dan Brown-esque plot development; and a key to one, penultimate, novel solution; if only for the possibility of (secret) societies, perchance, operating above and below and between the surfaces and interfaces of a long-view of history, for your and others’ considerations.

    Mind you, depending on where and when the (re)action of The Rationale (and, arguably, there can be only one, if and when it is reduced, possibly to the point of absurdity, possibly not, as history might tell and tell again: just as a solute contains within it the seed of the crystallised idea absent a universal solvent; and just as there are only yet (an)other examples of the (one wrong Christian) church, even if that rationale always seems to terminate somewhere shy of completion of its (pen)ultimate ends, especially in the ‘problem-reaction-solution’ chain always seemingly leaving the ‘solution’ left unresolved, or simply being sublimated away in, fortunately, impotent mocking) takes place, it is possible to substitute one key for another, or even just a skeleton key, depending on which cryptologue, and who is who, is being utilised to flesh out the plot details.

    Maybe that’s a reason why Baptists tend to place such a high premium on individual soul liberty and the Enlightenment-era right to freedom of, and from, religion – such that all people and all people constituting their own collective places of worship may choose the Baptist religion and a specific Baptist church, some other Christian denomination and church, some other world religion and/or place of worship, or even no religion and no place of worship at all – but will not eat pork or have it served to them or others in their own place, no matter how much those cooking with gas like a bit of crackling, and find it preposterous that there are those who would live exclusively off the fat of the Lamb instead, or not, as the case may be, as they wander through time, and place, and conscience, and conscionability. And some nominally liberal democrats, too, or even just this one, with the implication into that freedom of religion, also, the freedoms from non-religion and null-religion, by corollary.

    And there endeth my discursive tour of the smorgasbord that is not the body of Dan Brown’s esteemed works, nor any kind of concentrate of his dribble to be sold to somebodies as Kindle-ing on Amazon.

  39. Ugly BWOOCE MBA, Brutopia Inc

    Yoghurt. Terrible stuff. Obviously designed with a quadrupedal, horned, tailed, and multi-stomached entity in mind, and not a h(an)uman. No point in contorting the issue. Besides, there is no such thing as ‘good bacteria’, no matter how many times the false food prophets proclaim that spurious dualism!

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