Friday Footy

Well it’s been another big week in politics and economics. Reb has joined the ever growing list of climate sceptics in signs that the Gordon below Franklin could be dammed at any time. It’s pissing down in Melbourne as I write so I will enjoy sitting back and watching another year’s worth of drinking water flow into Bass Strait taking a few dozen heifers with it as the Mitchell floods. At least it means I have an excuse to shower with the missus, not that it gets me anywhere, if you get my drift.

In footy this week, it’s been all about the umpires. I have an opinion on this, so excuse me as I climb aboard my soapbox. Year after year, the AFL create new rules that have the effect of, if not the intention, making umpires front and centre of early season football debate. Most of these new rules have little effect of improving the game of Australian Football, but I guess it cures a few people of their relevance deprivation syndrome. Now lately we’ve been talking about umpire contact. Don’t touch them. Fair enough. But it has gone well beyond the discouragement of violence towards authority and language such as “sacrosanct” and “duty of care” are coming into it. A footballer has one duty on the field and that’s to get the bloody football. All this stuff is dressed up as being designed to encourage young umpires into the game. Well when I was growing up into a man, the last thing I wanted was to be considered so fragile as to warrant suspension or thousand dollar fines if I was to be touched, so, as a man, I would be far less inclined to turn towards umpiring than I was previously. A man wants respect, he wants to be a man. Affirmative action in this situation can only have the effect of attracting relevance deprived pussies to umpiring fraternity and that’s the last thing the game of Australian Football needs.

In matches this week…..

Port Adelaide v St Kilda. This is an interesting one. The Saints have performed beautifully so far this year, and I stand by my opinion of Port as crap. That said, Justin Koschitske has been a lot of the reason for the Saints success this year and he is out. I reckon Port might win a close one.

Essendon v Collingwood. I am a massive believer in Anzac Day, but I think it’s a disgrace that these 2 clubs get the honour of playing the annual dedicatory match. It ought be shared. Collingwood will win because they are a better side. Although if Medhurst doesn’t play, it could be close. Rocca doesn’t matter one way or the other, and never really did.

Hawthorn v West Coast. Hawthorn’s form has been deplorable and West Coast have been quite good. However it’ll be effing freezing down in Launceston and I reckon the Hawks will get up.

Fremantle v Sydney. The Bloods haven’t travelled well this year but have been great at home. Freo have been woeful. This could be a frustrating game to watch over in Perth and I’ll be frustratedly watching the Swans get up by not much.

North Melbourne v Richmond. Coughlin is back for the Tiges so that’s one good thing. More important, much more important than Cousins in my view. Gee Richmond were bad last week but I just have a feeling they might turn it around this week. North have failed to impress me this year, so I’m going with the Tiges.

Geelong v Brisbane. At Geelong. It’ll be pissing down and cold. Brisbane did well against the Swans in the wet the other week but 10 degrees less makes a difference. Geelong.

Western Bulldogs v Carlton. The Blues have lost their last two and the Dogs lost in Perth last week. The Dogs draw in the early part of the season has been criminal and their legs will still be a bit weary. Carlton to get their season back on track.

Melbourne v Adelaide. I’m picking Adelaide because they are the better side. Melbourne are an enthusiastic young group though and it would not surprise me to see them back up last week’s win with another at home in the wet on Sunday.

In racing it’s the Sydney Cup this week and it’s a pretty tough one to pick. I’d be looking at horses like Ice Chariot, Newport, and Master O’Reilly in a very wide quaddie, that is, wide in the Cup and the last leg, and a bit narrower in the All Aged Stakes (Racing to Win, Masked Assassin) and the Queen Elizabeth Stakes (Vision and Power, Pompei Ruler). At Flemington, just back anything that’s won in the wet.

Barachetta (or Barashitter as my lady wife likes to call him) will probably run at Ararat on Monday and is worth backing if the track is slow.

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26 Responses

  1. For the Mungo supporters/ followers, here is my take on this weeks league games.

    Broncos v Eels,
    TB, your blokes should sh!t it in tonight over the attrocious eels. Nuf said.

    Souths v Cronulla
    Cronulla have to start winning again soon but I can’t see the return of Gallen being the catalyst. Bunnies to win … easily.

    Dragons v Roosters
    The Roosters will be smarting from being overlooked for the NSW Origin squad but there is a reason for that. IATW, I can’t believe it but I’m tipping the Dragons again this week … but I am.

    Melbourne v Warriors
    Melbourne get a real 5/8 in the form of Finch and this will make a big difference to the so far disappointing (but less so than Manly IMO) Storm. I’m tipping the Warriors though in a tight one; they are the Storm hoodoo team – even in Melbourne.

    Cowboys v Manly
    Manly should get up over the Cowboys even though the cowboys are at home. Manly will miss Stewart but this time round they have Williams back on the wing and Lyons (who is playing some of the best football I’ve seen from a centre this year) on his inside, Mattai and Bani on the other wing and Bailey/ Ox playing havock in the guts. Cowboys on the otherhand still haven’t fired and Thurston looks rusty. Manly by at least 12 I reckon.

    Canberra v Bulldogs
    The Doggies had a big win last week but lets face it, it was against a woeful Eels outfit. Their other wins have also been against teams playing below their best or at the bottom of the ladder (or both in the case of Cronulla and Manly). We are yet to see if they can match it against a solid team. Canberra will test them and I think the Raiders will get the points.

    Tigers v Newcastle.
    Ahhh the Tiges, so much talent; a propensity to only show it for about 10 mins in a game though. Newcastle can put on the points but get lazy in the last 20mins or so. I think Newcastle can get the points but if they get lazy and don’t have enough pts on the board, the Tigs could fire and massacre them. Newcastle (just) by 2.

    Titans v Panthers
    I just can’t see the Panthers getting up over a very good Titans outfit at home. Bailey out is a problem for them but the brawl last week isn’t going to do the Pathers much good either. Be interesting to see how Luke Walsh goes off the bench for the Panthers, the has a habit of being a human turnstile in defence but he is a damn tallented player in attack. Titas to win by quite a bit.

  2. James

    We have dazzled them with our brilliant game previews 😉

  3. I know, pretty quiet here today. But I’ve reread my post half a dozen times and I think it’s brilliant. Yours isn’t bad either!!

  4. I thought yours was excellent too although I am not sure I have followed all your tips in the comp. I’m giving wild guessing based on a hunch and betting odds a run in the AFL comps and comparring the reults with my well reasoned and considered selections in league. So far my random gueses are more successful 😦

  5. Broncos ( Eels are so pathetic)

    Souths ( Cronulla backs are too slow)

    Dragons ( I went to last week’s game and Saints were very soft in second half. Players back from injury will stiffen defence)

    Storm (Warriors are pathetic away) Althought whats the story with Greg Inglis. Did he meet some chick called Sara Lea in the offseason. He’s so fat !!!

    Manly

    Canberra ( its a forecast of 12 degrees)

    Newcastle (tigers bled to many points)

    Panthers (Matt Rogers is out of Titans game as well)

  6. Dave55

    I thought Peter Doust was pathetic………………But not after reading that the Sharks released that kid on $200 pa.

    Can you believe it…………………!

    How could he be worth $200K…………….!

    Zappia must have rocks in his head

  7. I’ve just popped in at the request of James.

    He has made some very disparaging remarks about recent contributors to this thread.

    I lost track of St George when Norm Provan, Reg Gasnier, Graham Langlands and Johnny Raper stopped playing.

    How have they been going since then?

  8. It’s a very good analysis James…

    You’ll forgive me for my absence – I know nothing about AFL or sport in general for that matter..

    There aren’t may contact sports one can play wearing a pair of jewel encrusted velvet slippers I suspect.

  9. IATW,

    I’m lost, which kid? Who did sharks release that wasn’t worth $200K (apart from most of their players?)

  10. This one Dave……………………I can scarcely believe it. It must be a beat up.

    Or the Sharks really do deserve to go broke..!

    http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,25378564-5001023,00.html

  11. OK Reb,

    Do you like Cricket……………..?

    Here are a few phrases that turned up in an anonomous email that was sent to me recently.

    However it applies more to us “straight shooters” and how we go about in our relationships with the fairer sex

    Roll the arm over: ——Go out for a drink, chat to a few girls.

    Let one go outside off: ——-Decline an invitation from an unsuitable partner.

    Smack one over the bowler’s head: ——Succeed very quickly with a woman.

    Pull one over the covers:——- Masturbation (and yes, I know it’s impossible to pull over covers in the game of cricket, you drive, but it’s a great metaphor nonetheless).

    Fending ’em off down the leg side:——- Too many woman to handle.

    Fielding at first slip:——– Running off your mate who has a surplus of feminine attention.

    Bowling from both ends: ——Working two women in the same room.

    A barrage of bouncers forcing you to duck for cover——– More than one ex-girlfriend in the room while you are trying to tune other women.

    Getting your eye in: ——–Practice conversations with women earlier in the night.

    Dispatched to the boundary: ——-Have sex.

    Whip the bails off: ——Masturbation or getting a woman’s smalls off. “How’d ya go mate? Did ya even get the bails off?

    They’re flying off the edge:—— Attempts at conversation or connection with the opposite sex are going awry.

    Let it go through to the keeper: ——-Ignore a flirtatious offer from a woman or allow a woman’s phone call to go to voicemail.

    Batting too high up the order:—– Aiming too high with women.

    Seeing them well in the nets:——- Usually an expression of dismay at why you seem to be doing the right things – you’re feeling good, dressed well and are amped to meet a girl but can’t even manage to get an edge, let alone hit one in the middle.

    You never walk to the crease … you stride: ——–It’s about confidence, or apparent confidence. If you look like you’re gonna score a century, you will. Either that or you will get a first ball duck.

    Playing county cricket: ——-God’s gift to Australian men; English backpackers.

    It’s all about time in the middle: ——-You need to talk to women often to become successful at it.

    Seeing them like watermelons: ——-Having great success with the opposite sex.

    Coming out of the hand nicely: ——Your interactions with women have proved positive so far.

    A one-dayer: ———-A one-night stand.

    Ford Ranger Cup:——— A one night stand with a local lass.

    Batting at Waverly (or your local) Oval: ——–Doing OK with local girls that all your mates know, but there’s not much of a challenge.

    Not a strong bowling attack: ——Similar to the above. You might have been successful, but deep down you know the opposition wasn’t of top standard.

    IPL: ———Exotic action.

    Test: ————–Someone you’re interested in.

    Twenty20: ————-Explosive, short-lived sexual encounter, typified by flashy stroke-play.

    Running between the wickets let you down:————- You’ve drunk a little too much.

    Played a very straight bat:————- You didn’t come on to a woman in any shape or form. Usually a mate’s ex or sister.

    Lot of moisture in the wicket: ————-Many women present at an establishment.

    Lot of turn in the wicket: ———–Your interactions with the opposite sex are garnering unpredictable results.

    Bowling into the rough: ————–Trying to get a reaction from a woman.

    Spent a lot of time at the crease: —————You’ve been drinking and/or chatting up for many hours.

    Left arm around the wicket:———Gay.

    Electric wickets: ————–When you’re bound to be successful with a woman if your mate scores with her girlfriend, usually because they live a long way away.

    French cut: ————–Blokes who act effeminate around women.

    12th man: ———Carries the drinks all night, doesn’t get any female company for his troubles. “I’ve been 12th man the last three weekends in a row.”

    Appeal against the light: ———Decline to have sex with a person because of their race/skin colour.

    Battling without a helmet: ———–No contraception.

    Taking the new ball: ————Partaking in chemical enhancement after too many beers.

    Leg byes: ———-Pulling a root without a great deal of effort.

    Enforce the follow-on: ————-Sex after sex. “Mate, we both woke up at 10am and she enforced the follow-on.”

    Right-arm orthodox: ———–The missionary position.

    The yorker: ————-An acute, well-delivered line or action that virtually guarantees sex. “We were getting on pretty good and they I yorked her, so she had to play at the ball.”

    Seagulling: ————Sitting in a pub on your own or with a couple of mates and making no contribution whatsoever to the pursuit of the opposite sex.

    Bay 13: ———-A nightclub full of bogan chicks.

    Duckworth-Lewis: ———–The formula employed to gauge how many drinks you’re prepared to buy a woman in order to get her into bed.

    Adjust the sight-screen:———— Drink a few more beers in the hope the girl will somehow grow hotter.

    Baggy Green: ————An award given to spectacularly beautiful women. “Aw, sweet baby Jesus, give her the Baggy Green, eh?”

    Stranded at the non-striker’s end: ——–Your wing man, who was keeping a woman’s friend busy, has crashed and burned and both females have brushed you.

    Bowling from the Oxford Street end——— Gay

  12. I stopped reading the rant from James as soon as he said Port Adelaide were crap.

    As an author, he has no credentials.

  13. IATW,

    Yup, dumb. I guess it’s tough though, you want to get the best young players before any other team but how much do you pay for an untested player, if he had have been as good as SBW, you might have considered him a good buy at that price.

    re your comment about Doust, I agree, you payed too much for Gaz and could have had about three v.good players in the roster instead, one man don’t make a team.

    Compare to Delmage at Manly (owner and not CEO I know but …); he seems to have the right idea:
    http://www.smh.com.au/news/lhqnews/manly-view-orford-as-the-glue/2009/04/23/1240079798310.html

  14. Yeh thank God Gaz went……………!

  15. Yeh thank God Gaz went……………!

    Walrus, I think I understood you better when you talked French.

  16. Walrus, I think I understood you better when you talked French.

    Miglo, on April 24th, 2009 at 6:13 pm Said:

    OK I’ll rephrase…!

    Thank God Gaz’s gone…………….!

  17. Who is Gaz?

  18. Those champions are loose again tonight!

    GO BRONCOS!

    Note: My son-in-law is an Eels fan – he lives next door – hehehehe!

  19. Miglo, on April 24th, 2009 at 6:56 pm Said:
    Who is Gaz?

    He’s the nephew of Puff !

    Who’s Puff you will ask yourself…………!

    Well………………..he’s the Magic Dragon !

  20. TB

    We are getting Sharks v Rabbits first in Sydney

    Eels are no hope

  21. OK here ya go Migs……….!

    http://www.bestlegenz.com.au/Gaz.html

  22. 2 form 2.in league

    Can’t believed I tipped Port 🙄 WTF was I thinking?

    So far reasoned and considered is beating the hunch tipping process.

  23. Go Saints!

  24. Nice picks over the weekend James. Another shifty round.

    This week looks a bit easier.

    Hopefully Portscum play as insipidly in the Showdown as they did against the Saints…although such an eventuation would be out of character.

  25. Wow, I got 3 in the league although to be fair, I did pick the warriors storm to be tight and the tiges to possibly get over the Knights at the end (which they did) after good play from their talented half back.

    I also picked luke walsh to be influential in the Panther’s match, I just didn’t think it would be enough.

    Doggies and Panthers now the form teams after Brisbane and Dragons. Tiges looking good as well.

    Storm Manly game this w/e will be interesting.

  26. we’ll see toiletboss…

    I’m tipping Port to flog the Cows, based on their season so far. Flog a team one week, play insipid football the next, flog another team… very frustrating to watch.

    I’m still hoping for Buckley to coach Port next year, though I have heard Damian Hardwick being touted as a potential Port coach – I think he’d go alright..

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