Midweek Mayhem!


Good afternoon, and welcome to Midweek Mayhem, the place where we get to talk about anything and everything – now with the enhanced possibility of some infrastructure spending to revamp the place a bit. The decor could do with a bit of an overhaul don’t you think?

Well with less than three weeks to go until Budget night (it’s almost like Christmas isn’t it, except Santa will no doubt be a miserable old f**ker this year), we’re all waiting, some more than others, with eager anticipation of what the Budget may hold.

We’ve already received heavy hints from the powers that be that “Middle class welfare” will be in the Government’s sights as will clamping down on tax rorts and on it goes.

There’s also talk of a further “stimulus” package. This time focusing on infrastructure spending as opposed to just a “cash hand out”. Speaking of which, where’s my nine hundred bucks?

Anyway, all will be revealed in 20 days time, and all will be unveiled here at Blogocrats as the news is released due to my reliable inside sources of on-the-spot credible information.

Depending on who you listen to, the world is about to end.

Qantas is about to collapse, along with Holden, and the only vehicle manufacturers that will be left alive in the world in 24 months time will be those producing two-wheeled, hemp fueled, solar powered, wind-propelled tampons.

But the good news is that Climate Change is no longer going to kill us all.

In a surprise discovery, Antartica is actually getting bigger, not smaller, so there you go, panic over. No one seemed to notice, which makes you wonder what all the fuss was about in the first place. No wonder Penny Wong’s been quiet for a while.

Meanwhile Kevin Rudd’s Mac Book “Tool box of the Future” has been replaced with a more up with the times budget conscious “Can Opener” as Australia braces itself for a resurgence in “home cooking on a budget” – “101 things you thought you could never do with Spam,” “How to make a hearty Baked Bean Bollognaise on a Budget” – fun for the whole family, and my personal favourite – “Traditional Bread n’ Butter pudding made with some old leftover congealed wallpaper paste.”

But despite the pessimists, there are signs of economic recovery on the horizon.

Loosely translated that means things don’t seem to be getting any worse.

At least as far as the markets are concerned anyway.

However it is worth noting that it takes on average 12.5 months for a resurgence in the markets to be felt in the local economy, so the remainder of 2009 is still going to be pretty tough. Unless you can hang on to your job, in which case you’re probably wondering “what recession?”

It’s times like these that bring out the best in people. Or is it. Who cares? I don’t.

One has to commend the inspired US airline that’s created Business Class for the family pooch. Let’s face it, pretty soon they’ll be the only ones that’ll be able to afford to fly.

May the Lord comfort, strengthen and guide you.

Here is some light humour from my favourite comedienne…