Politics Explained

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’

Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The housekeeper, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
 
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the housekeeper. He gives up and goes back to bed.
 
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.’

The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’
 
The little boy replies, ‘The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh*t.’

Union Rorts

If these allegations are true, then federal ALP MP Craig Thomson should resign from parliament.

THE federal Labor MP and former union boss Craig Thomson faces allegations that his union credit cards were used to pay for escort services and to withdraw more than $100,000 in cash, as well as bankroll his election campaign for the central coast seat of Dobell.

What is it about NSW central coast MP’s?

Midweek Mayhem!!

Hello,

Good afternoon and welcome to Midweek Mayhem.

Our middle of the week, idle chit chat thread – now with the added excitement of a crucifiction this weekend!

Well the news of the week has to be Kev’s ambitious but much needed plan to address the nation’s Internet infrastructure requirements.

It came as a big surprise to everyone that he more or less told the proponents of the original tenders to sod off.

It’s a bold announcement that, with the flick of a little switch, simultaneously wiped the headlines clean of the crying air hostess scandal. What was all that fuss about again…?

Something about a ham sandwhich?

Dammit we have a country to run here – we’re in the middle of a Galaxacial Financial Crisis of Ben Hur promotions (a Cecil B Demille production). But be careful not to talk it up (or down) too much. Oh I don’t know which… whatever…

And of course the honeymoon continues – it’s been 18 months now – for Kevin Rudd’s popularity, now at almost record levels of 60+%. At this rate, he’ll soon be more popular than cigars n’ port at a Liberal party backbenchers’ dinner.

It hasn’t been a good week for the Oppostion Leader, Malcolm “just call me Mister 18%” Turnbull, who is just marginally more popular than his predecessor, what’s his name ‘The Forehead’.

Meanwhile the markets have been up and down and depending on who you listen to, real estate is about to boom or it’s about to decline drastically. So nothing has changed in that respect for about 12 months now.

So this weekend is Easter.

I think it would be appropriate for all of us to take a moment, particularly in these times of hardship, to consider the real meaning of Easter.

There are many people who will be homeless this Easter, some will struggle to find something to eat while others will wonder where their next meal is coming from. Spare a thought for those who are less fortunate than yourselves.

The Lord Jesus Christ carries special significance during this special time, he came to the world to care for the down trodden and marginalised, the poor and the neglected, the maligned and the rejected. We killed him. But before we did, he invented chocolate, and with some help from the disciples he made some really nice liqueur ones – especially the ones made with gin, drambuie and benedictine. And then he met a rabbit. A giant rabbit that could talk, and together Jesus and the rabbit went about giving everyone liqueur filled chocolates until no one could stand up anymore.

But some people weren’t happy about this, so naturally, they stoned Jesus and the rabbit to death and hid them in a cave and blocked the entrance with a giant plum that looked more like a peach except it was hard like rock but with lava flowing from the top and a princess who had two old jam jar lids for ear muffs, because it was cold and she warned everyone to stay away, but they didn’t cos they wanted more chocolate, so they bludgeoned her to death with a mallet, and then removed the rock only to find that the rabbit had eaten Jesus and then shat him out as chocolate shite, so it smelled a bit, and so the people threw a rag over Jesus who had wee’d himself and to this day that rag is known as “the shroud of Urine”.

The End.

This week’s music is a nice religious song for Easter..