Unaccustomed to travelling on public transport with the common proletariat, Janette and John Howard have made the headlines once again in the US by delaying a Qantas flight by one hour due to additional “cabin cleaning and “a lost passenger” according to Qantas.
Obviously, not quite up to Janette’s usual standards, the Howard’s were reportedly distressed with the prospect of catching a flight together with members of the general public, so it was deemed appropriate to demand that everyone’s bags be checked again.
According to passenger Steve Samson “They were all saying that the flight was delayed because Qantas had decided to check everyone’s bags because Mr Howard was on board and they were concerned about security. You’ve got to wonder what’s going on when they decided to step up security just because there’s a prominent person on board.”
Qantas confirmed yesterday a “certain former prime minister” was on the flight but was adamant the delay had nothing to do with increased security.
“There was a 55-minute delay due to cabin cleaning and presentation requirements and the need to locate a missing passenger,” a Qantas spokesman said. The former prime minister was not the missing passenger, he said.
The Qantas spokesman refused to be drawn on whether the “lost passenger” was Mrs Howard, however it has been revealed that the lost passenger was later located in the Qantas Club Lounge in an intoxicated state and had to be escorted to the flight after allegedly consuming twelve “cocksucking cowboys.”
The “lost passenger” was eventually seated next to Mr Howard in first class, but not before glaring at everyone in economy and shouting “f**k yas all!” while giving everyone a two finger salute.