Not Quite the Public Transport types…

Unaccustomed to travelling on public transport with the common proletariat, Janette and John Howard have made the headlines once again in the US by delaying a Qantas flight by one hour due to additional “cabin cleaning and “a lost passenger” according to Qantas.

Obviously, not quite up to Janette’s usual standards, the Howard’s were reportedly distressed with the prospect of catching a flight together with members of the general public, so it was deemed appropriate to demand that everyone’s bags be checked again.

According to passenger Steve Samson “They were all saying that the flight was delayed because Qantas had decided to check everyone’s bags because Mr Howard was on board and they were concerned about security. You’ve got to wonder what’s going on when they decided to step up security just because there’s a prominent person on board.”

Qantas confirmed yesterday a “certain former prime minister” was on the flight but was adamant the delay had nothing to do with increased security.

“There was a 55-minute delay due to cabin cleaning and presentation requirements and the need to locate a missing passenger,” a Qantas spokesman said. The former prime minister was not the missing passenger, he said.

The Qantas spokesman refused to be drawn on whether the “lost passenger” was Mrs Howard, however it has been revealed that the lost passenger was later located in the Qantas Club Lounge in an intoxicated state and had to be escorted to the flight after allegedly consuming twelve “cocksucking cowboys.”

The “lost passenger” was eventually seated next to Mr Howard in first class, but not before glaring at everyone in economy and shouting “f**k yas all!” while giving everyone a two finger salute.

Advertisements

41 Responses

  1. This is just par for the course. For example, troops families delayed for over 2 days so that JWH could arrive to have his photo opportunity prior to the troops leaving for the Gulf. How to create far more stress than necessary? Ans: being made to wait.

  2. It doesn’t surprise me at all. Imagine that, needing to recheck all baggage just because some hasbeen is on the flight. Goes to show how little they think of the worth of their customers in cattle class when the bags are rechecked. Qantas should have been more than happy with their first check if they are doing things properly from the start.

    I must remember to request a double check of security and baggage each time I fly with Qantas, after all I am a frequent flyer member and demand equal service.

  3. Or did they have to install a “hamster wheel” for “the second PM to lose his seat at a federal election” to exercise to prevent DVT (Deep Voter Trepidation)?

  4. Shane

    How’s Riley?

  5. I’d love to see him sent a bill for compensation. Say, $100 per hour for each passenger inconvenienced. That would take the smug look off the little leecher’s face.

    First the keeping Obama out of Blair House, now this PR schmozzle. He’s been at the centre of so much disgrace for Australia with Americans lately. It’s right out of proportion for someone who we effectively said we want nothing more to do with, only a little over a year ago.

    All the more galling that he does these stunts at taxpayers’ expense, never his own, though we elected to be rid of him. .. Sorry, raving, but you know what I mean..

  6. I would love it if the defence force families were offered reimbursement for the additional day/s that they had to spend in motels in Darwin.

  7. joni

    Thanks for asking

    Riley is doing well. Has actually walked down the stairs twice (14 stairs down the back to concrete),extremely slowly and with me there holding my breath in the hope he doesn’t lose it and crash to the bottom on the cement. Trying to give him confidence but is freaking me out more than him I think.

    Like all stroke victims he has good and bad days, on his bad days his left legs drag and wobble noticeably.

    Not sure he will improve any further than he has and know he will never be able to race up and down the stairs, but he is having a great quality of life and thats the main thing.

    Still launches into a full scale run outside and then gets the wobbles up badly as he cannot control his left side and then in the end bowls himself over.

    The reason he bowls over is that his right side is still powerful and launches him forward but his left side is weak and therefore he runs sideways as well as forward.

    It is still wonderful to see the body streamline for the burst of speed and the joy in his eyes and face when he is pelting along.

    Was going to download some more pics for my blogocrat friends last week but have forgotten the cable so will have to be next week.

  8. Sorry, but this story appears to be a complete non-sense with respect to the Howards. The article gets its legs from the uninformed speculation of a passenger(s). The article refers to:

    “the search for a missing passenger.”

    But doesn’t follow through the security implications of a ‘missing passenger’.

    A ‘missing passenger’ is someone who ‘checked in’ at the airport, was allocated a seat but didn’t actually board the plane despite final boarding calls. This causes security alarm bells to ring loud and clear. And do it should!

    The ‘missing passenger’s’ luggage has to be found and off loaded (if the missing passenger doesn’t turn up). They will not takeoff with luggage that has no owner. And that, in my opinion, is the correct course of action.

    Howard would have been just as annoyed as any other passenger. It has happened to me more than once and it’s the cause of much angst. When the missing passenger turns up, there is often much abuse from the hundreds kept waiting. Best to apologise profusely – not that has much effect.

    Somewhat surprised that they allowed a supposed inebriated passenger to actually continue the flight. Very strange.

    Paul Bibby has some way to go to be a good journalist.

  9. May not be true – but it is fun to mock the rodent.

  10. Off topic. So pleased Shane that Riley is doing so well. It never ceases to amaze me how animals (people too) manage to compensate for what they used to be able to do but now can’t.

  11. To follow on from joni. Me thinks that the subtle hint was the fact that the missing passenger (quote from reb) was later located in the Qantas Club Lounge in an intoxicated state and had to be escorted to the flight after allegedly consuming twelve “cocksucking cowboys.”. To add to the allure, reb later suggests that this person was seated next to JWH.

  12. Indeed min – like how ex-rodents who used to annoy people for no reason but can still achieve the same (even when they are not to blame).

    Great news on Riley, Shane.

  13. “Somewhat surprised that they allowed a supposed inebriated passenger to actually continue the flight. Very strange”

    Actually, I made that bit up (for the sake of a good story).

    (You can’t believe everything I write in my posts).

    I don’t know anything about the “lost passenger” in this particular instance, but based on past experience, “lost passengers” are usually located in the Qantas lounge and usually whisked to the plane in one of those golf buggies.

    Not that that’s ever happened to me of course…

  14. Min and Joni

    It is true it never ceases to amaze me either how far he has come. It only seems like a week ago that he could do nothing but lift his head at the neck and cry because his body would not move for him.

    Compensating for what they used to have is so apt Min. Once his legs finally decided to work it did not take him long to realise he had to take all the weight on his right side to stand and simply adjusted from there.

    Vets remain astounded as to his recovery from virtual paralysis as they presumed he would need to be put down. I still maintain that somehow we transfer our love of someone to them to give them courage and strength to recover to a level of stability ( don’t know how but I truly believe our determination and will for them to recover is transferred).

  15. “It is true it never ceases to amaze me either how far he has come. It only seems like a week ago that he could do nothing but lift his head at the neck and cry because his body would not move for him.”

    I thought you were talking about John Howard!!

    But yes, very good news about riley!

    🙂

  16. I was a “lost passenger” once. Stuck in the airport toilet after some dodgy food the night before. My name being called over the PA but me not being game to move. So very embarrassing when I finally boarded.

  17. I think so too Shane. What the vets don’t understand is that Riley has such a supportive family. It’s never easy to have a pet put down when the going becomes too difficult/inconvenient, but even more difficult to become a carer when it’s ‘just a dog’.

  18. Imagine that. A “cocksucker” sitting next to a prick.

  19. Miglo,

    LOL!!

  20. “It is true it never ceases to amaze me either how far he has come. It only seems like a week ago that he could do nothing but lift his head at the neck and cry because his body would not move for him.”

    I thought you were talking about John Howard!!
    (Reb).

    And there I was thinking he was talking about my bone lazy good for nothing step son.

  21. I think if I was on that flight I’d request a transfer. Surely with Howard on-board it presents a prime target.

  22. Can’t agree with you Stephan. What terrorist would be interested in an irrelevant, unimportant, washed up has-been.

  23. “Surely with Howard on-board it presents a prime target”

    No! Been demonstrated time and time again that Costello never had the ticker. Nothing’s changed.

    As for terrorists, ‘alive’ he is much better for recruitment than in any other condition. Indeed, he and his reign of fear are now deemed failures by the electorate.

  24. The reason I complained was not so much that Little Johnny was on board, but more so the fact that QANTAS couldn’t get it’s act together the first time. Why did passengers have to be checked a second time ? The wording from the SMS was exactly as follows “were having a longer delay bc the prime ministers in my flight! so they’re checking everyones baggages”. These people at QANTAS had ample notice I assume that a VIP was coming on board.

    The domino effect of this is…. family and friends waiting to wave good bye paying an extra hour parking fee, possible penalty charges for QANTAS in not leaving in their designanted take off slot (1hr 3mins late – i.e undue costs to shareholders).

  25. And fair enough too Steve.

    Perhaps Qantas thought it was a lesser individual like John Howard the actor, rather than John Howard the “former PM” when he checked in…?

    I can just imagine Janette declaring “don’t you know who I am?” at the check-in counter, only to send security staff into a frenzied overdrive..

    “Quick, search everyone again, no make that three times!”

    Humour aside, I can appreciate the frustration….

    I once had to wait at Sydney airport for 8 hours due to missing a connecting flight by 20 mins, and I could’ve murdered someone.

  26. Why did passengers have to be checked a second time ?

    The evidence is – ‘they weren’t’ and rarely are’.

    “were having a longer delay bc the prime ministers in my flight! so they’re checking everyones baggages”. ”

    Lesson – don’t believe SMS messages. For everyone’s baggage to be checked, everyone would be disembarked.

    Nothing to do with the VIP, everything to do with the ‘missing passenger’.

    Another reb example of making things (and identities) up for the sake of a good story. Lol.

  27. “Another reb example of making things (and identities) up for the sake of a good story”

    I reject that! (to paraphrase our former PM).

    John Howard is a bona fide person, however I concede that the intoxicated cocksucking cowboy was a fabrication of my own imagination…

  28. And I too am a bona fide person…. though the bones are a little older and the fides a little bit fidled with…. the passengers had not yet ’embarked’ for them to ‘disembark’. They’d been checked and had been waiting around to board the plane. Hence the ‘second’ check.

  29. Steve,

    Do you mean that everyone had to walk back from the lounge area at the gate (after being x-rayed already) and then have everything x-rayed again?

  30. Reb,

    I resemble that, pardner. *hic*

  31. “the passengers had not yet ‘embarked’ for them to ‘”

    Then how did they know there was a ‘missing passenger’?

    Maybe the Rodent told them? And they believed him?

    Simply doesn’t add up on the basis of what has been provided.

    Does Steve live in Africa? Or is this a ‘hoax’ gone wrong? Who knows. Chicken Little springs to mind, Cries wolf once too often? Lol.

  32. Interesting that both reb and steve have a penchant for ‘bona fide’.

    And there are other giveaways now that I’ve been alerted to ‘hoaxes’. Reb with all due respect you have a problem with ‘its’ and ‘it’s’.

    “it’s act” Meaning “It is act”

    A bit like driving from Beijing to Xian in two hours. The truth is one’s likely to fly that distance in that time,

  33. “joni, on January 13th, 2009 at 3:20 pm Said:
    May not be true – but it is fun to mock the rodent.”

    Well Joni, it is good to see that you have finally admitted to this. I have always stated that you people get pleasure out of telling lies about people.

    If the passenger doesn’t go missing the plane would have left on time.

    I found this interesting “The passenger’s relative, Steve Samson, said he had overheard a conversation by other passengers on the observation deck, saying that the flight was delayed because Qantas had decided to check everyone’s bags because Mr Howard was on board.”

    So Steve Samson is the passengers relative.

  34. I’m with Joni, Neil. It is fun to mock the rodent.

    As long as there is a pulse in my body I will always derive much pleasure in every word that is said in mockery against this mean spirited bastard.

    And the more that is said, the more satisfying I will find it. And as the truth about this nasty turd is slowly revealed I will derive even more pleasure.

    Neil, you could not imagine the level of hate I have for the man.

  35. Ouch Neil – I am wounded now.

  36. Neil @ 12.09am

    Do you mock Kevin Rudd or the Labor Party ?

    We all mock politicians, it’s the aussie thing to do. As long as you find things to mock both sides over then you are being balanced.

  37. Nature 5:

    “Lesson – don’t believe SMS messages”

    Lesson 2 – don’t believe everything you read on a blog.

  38. I’m glad that Qantas are certain that he’s a former pm.

  39. “Well Joni, it is good to see that you have finally admitted to this (mocking of John Howard)”.
    “I have always stated that you people get pleasure out of telling lies about people”. – Neil of Sydney

    Interesting comment there Neil.
    Tell me Neil, when the electors of Bennelong mercilessly threw the Rodent out of politics, do you think they were:

    1. Mocking JWH; or
    2. Lying to themselves?

    Take your time in answering. Meanwhile, we can all get back to mocking the rodent.

  40. “Do you mock Kevin Rudd or the Labor Party ?
    shaneinqld, on January 14th, 2009 at 9:23 am Said:”

    I hope I do not tell lies about them.

    “Oftenbark, on January 15th, 2009 at 2:01 am Said:”

    Thats not the way I interpreted it. I thought Joni said it was fun to mock people by telling lies about them. As for Howard losing his seat, i believe there was a boundary change before the election turning Bennelong into a marginal seat.

    But i must admit I have never seen an election where the unemployment rate halved and the people who were in power when this happened lost the election. Still havn’t seen many reasons as to why the current Labor govt is any better than the previous Liberal govt. In fact I think it is worse.

  41. My god what a revelation, Neil thinks Labor is worse than the previous government.

    And how many times do we have to tell you that Howard had almost nothing to do with the low unemployment rate? To illustrate this perfectly. What is the only State that is currently Liberal and that consistently had the best employment figures in Australia, dragging the country’s unemployment average down, but now has the biggest jump in unemployment?

    So under the way Neil measures things the substantially higher unemployment rate in WA is the fault of the WA government because the previous Labor government handed them the best figures in Australia, and since the Libs got in those figures have collapsed.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: