Are Australian Actors just Crap?

Last week I posted about Nicole Kidman’s (lack of) acting ability and labelled her as the “ice maiden” effectively summarising her performance in The Invasion.

Apparantly I’m not alone.

Melanie Reid, writing in the Times newspaper, describes as a “big, big mistake” Luhrmann’s decision to select Kidman for the role of Lady Sarah Ashley, who inherits a remote cattle station shortly before World War II.

Reid says Kidman was an immediate turn-off for female cinemagoers who feel she is “one of the most overrated actors” in the world and who has “been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in”.

The newspaper critic also slammed Kidman’s acting ability based on her previous starring roles in films including Cold Mountain and Eyes Wide Shut.

“Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful,” Reid wrote.

“She can’t act.”

“Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I’m-looking-interesting blue eyes.”

I couldn’t agree more…


Oh dear, the consensus on our Nic just keeps getting worse….

“She now has a face which seems like a bathroom sink with skin.”

“She can move her face enough to talk, but it looks like to me, not enough to let her show any real emotion. Or age.”

“So why would a woman as successful as Nicole think it’s necessary to look as if she’s replaced her youthful fair porcelain skin with actual porcelain?”

“Audiences have to speak up now.”

“Sure, Nicole is our biggest female star, but is she really best we can do?”

“When Joan Crawford scowled, we could see it.”

“When Katherine Hepburn smiled adoringly, we believed it.”

“When Nic tries to look serious, or pensive, or in love, I feel confused.”

“Her eyebrows seem to have gone up, but they haven’t yet come down.”

26 Responses

  1. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, our Nicole cannot hold a candle to our Cate.

    Nicole has red hair, probably freckles. She was married to a scientologist. She is no role model. She needs to make a decision about her hair colour, and perhaps go a little easier on the botox.

    Our Cate is consistently a bottle blond, AND she attended the 2020 summit. Made a sensational contribution too (didn’t they all!!??) She is a radiant MOTHER. She is a WOMAN that our daughters can only look up to.

  2. Nicole will either make it as a mature actor or will disappear. Perhaps she can remake herself into a mature form, much like Olivia Newton John has done. Let’s see what she does in the future.

  3. I wrote my own ode to Kidman last year, which is over here –

    Warning: Strong language and cruel sniping.

  4. She commands 17 million for a movie so she must be doing something right. Give me 17 million for 1 movie and I would retire, whether it was good or bad 🙂

  5. Forget Kidman here are some good actors in some good Aussie movies, that i have enjoyed:
    On the beach (good movie)
    Kokoda track
    rabbit proof fence
    …. & maude
    chariots of fire
    One or two more might come to me later.
    Nicole face is full of botox, she cant smile properly anymore. Its sad to see someone so focused on there looks get to this age, panic and get injections, marry anyone who looks good, adopt 38 kids from africa and join some weird religous group.

    joni: Oi – blogocrats, no more “lists” or will ruin the Sunday Top Fives! 😛

  6. Yes, yes they are. Crap, the kind that you don’t wanna tread in.

    Except for that guy who played the homicidal nutcase in Wolf Creek, he was convincing.

  7. Debbie dose christmas island.

  8. Bad Boy Bubby…no Gladwrap in this house…LOL!

  9. Kidman isn’t the ony Australian actor (actress) in existence. I think Cate Blanchett is a very good actress.

  10. Aah, Ross Sharp.

    I’ve been meaning to have a word with you.

    Two of my favourite bands when I was an angry young man – Throbbing Gristle and the Residents….

    We are simple you are simple life is simple too…

    Oh, and Hot on the Heels of Love..

    I used to have their albums, but Gawd, that’s back in the pre-CD days…!!


  11. Bryan Brown? CRAP.

  12. Been saying NK was an amateur since The Sullivans…glad others agree…its been an uphill battle!

    As for BB you’ve got to admire the fact that he never uses an American accent!

  13. Oh TB!

    *Virtual Clink*

    By the way, I was asking after the minister the other day. How’s she doing?

  14. sreb, very well thank you for asking – now as for me………… 🙂

  15. “clink” (what a dumb ba$tard!)

  16. And… as for you…?

    Say TB, have you thought about adding a couple of Elvis numbers to your routine? In the Getto? Moody Blues…?

  17. “When we mortals undergo surgery, it’s with the promise of a better life, but women like Nicole and Kylie are already living the dream – and yet they seem unsatisfied until they have a forehead like a fridge door.”


  18. Aquanut @7

    “Debbie dose christmas island”

    You wouldn’t happen to have a spare copy of that lying around? Y’know, just like for research purposes n’ stuff?

  19. But you can at least put magnets on a fridge door.

  20. No Reb
    Only howard dose boat people is available

  21. That last comment tells me i should go to bed….

  22. Two of my favourite bands when I was an angry young man – Throbbing Gristle and the Residents…. reb | November 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    I saw the Residents about 4 times in a row back in 1988/9/90? when they played live in Sydney at what is now the Metro.13th Anniversary Tour, I think. Snakefinger died a few weeks after the tour finished.

    I still listen to their stuff. There’s heaps of stuff on Youtube.

  23. Ross,

    Do they were the eyeballs on stage?

  24. Yes.

    There were 4 of them. 2 of them are obviously women – I think there was a personnel change in the mid-80’s. Another one wears an eyeball too, and the 4th wears a black skull. Snakefinger played behind a curtain, and the stage was littered with inflatable plastic dinosaurs. I was right at the lip of the stage every night, and the stage came up to about my chest. One night someone passed a joint along and I partook.

    My God.

    Being stoned (extremely so) and standing right in front of 3 people in tuxedos wearing giant eyeballs and another one in a black skull playing that type of music amidst a stage full of inflatable dinosaurs was quite an experience, I’ll tell ya.

  25. LOL!!

    I think I would’ve been freaking out!!

    I used to have one of their albums – I think it had about 50 songs on it – each about one minute long.

    And another one which had a big guy with a funny hat sitting in a tiny little car..

    They are a weird bunch, but strangely enchanting…

  26. Ross Sharp @ 3

    Considering the coffee spewing that invariably occurs if I mistakenly read one of yr posts without checking th author, I made sure I was 10 feet away from any liquid nourichment before I clicke on your link.

    I am pleased to report the deprivation was well worth it!!!

    You have captured the essence of my feelings towards “Our Nicole” whih I held for a long long time, only you havedone so much more eloquently. Usually when I criticise her I get looked at as a traitor to Australia.

    I almost thought SHE would get hitched onto the citizenshp test along with Bradman looking at the adulation she recieves. I am glad sanity prevails!

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